Here's to 2013

Twas the night before New Years Eve . . . .

. . . . and all my planets are lining up nicely!

There are certain rituals that have to be observed as we hurtle towards the New Year, at some point between Christmas and the New Year I have to watch two films, the first is The Holiday, just because I love it and I wish I was Cameron Diaz. I also like to watch Mama Mia, unless you have discovered a discarded pair of thigh length boots in your loft and performed your own rendition of 'dancing queen' in your kitchen then this film may leave you cold - but I guarantee without any doubt that there will come a day in every parents lives when the words to 'slipping through my fingers' will make you weep and you will believe it was written for you.

I also need a new book and I have that and this one will answer every question I have ever had, after all it has worked for the likes of Bradley Wiggins, Victoria Pendleton and Sir Chris Hoy so I'm sure it will work for me. It's called The Chimp Paradox and I'm learning to control my chimp fast!.

We have also taken our running to the next level and been out twice this weekend in our tights! a sure sign things are getting serious.

I'm itching now to get the tree down and get on. 2012 hasn't been a bad year for us, we have got a lot sorted and life is a lot calmer now, it was also the first year that I completed a marathon. I'm just hoping the momentum will continue into the New Year.

Happy New Year to Everyone

Please, your help is needed!

Ok folks, I've been having a kind of 'brainstorming' session - with myself.

The wing walking idea appears to be a non-starter - shame!. My mum has refused to allow us to remove the last of my dads hair - spoil sport, and I'm afraid I just couldn't face being bald. I was traumatised enough by my last visit to the hairdressers.

I have considered a parachute jump or that dangling off a tall building on a bit of string thing but I think both of those are quite expensive before you make a penny for the charity. I need something a bit different that will propel us beyond my little group of friends and family who must by now be so sick of my **!?* mountain!. It seems it takes a lot more than running a little over 26 miles these days to do that?.

I've asked before and never had a single response but if anyone has any idea's I would be so grateful. I don't want to make a complete idiot of myself but I'm willing to consider most things. For the record, I don't sing, swim or play any instruments, so that could be somewhere to start.

So, lets get serious . . .

On Sunday there will be 16 weeks until the marathon - that really isn't long enough. We haven't managed to get out over the last few days and my anxiety is increasing with the arrival of each guest because I can guarantee their opening line these days is always to tell me how many runners they saw on the way to our house. I've not been out for days but it appears the streets are crammed full of runners!.

My other worry is the huge amount we need to raise in a little more than the 16 weeks. It's a full time job in itself and I already have one of those. I was a bit concerned because I vaguely remember on Christmas day striking a 'wine induced' deal with my sister which involved 'wing walking' but after a quick browse of the internet it seems you can't raise money for charity by wing walking because it is deemed to be a 'display activity' and not a 'sport' . . . . . . thank the lord!!!!

My dad, bless his heart has offered to have his head shaved but my mum has put her foot down - but it gives you some idea of the level of my desperation.

My e-book is still not selling, I just don't know how to get it out there, it's so hard when you don't have friends in influential places . . . well, you don't have that many friends influential or otherwise!!!!.

It's half passed 4 now and dark but I have a sudden urge to get on with something, I won't run in the dark, the machine is in the shed and the fires alight so lounge loping is out of the question - maybe I'll just have one more glass of wine and get out tomorrow.

For all that's good

Well that's Christmas done for another year, oh there were the same deflating airbeds, the same chaos, the same culinary disasters, the same food and wine, we quite possibly laughed at many of the same jokes and I know tears were shed over the same voids that become part of all of our lives with time.

Once again though there was the same sense that we have been somehow blessed. Christmas is such a huge line in the sand, a marker that we all use to take stock, to count up what we have against the things we don't and whilst I, along with most of us complain about all the things that I feel I could or should have I know that I have far more of what is really important than most people. Sometimes we are so busy mourning a life we once thought was ours for the taking that we don't see what is truly important, a home - however small or tatty can only really be called a home when it's filled with love. Food in our cupboards, whether it's Waitrose finest or Tesco everyday, so long as you have someone to share it with it makes no difference. Furry slippers will always ace designer clothes when they are bought and wrapped by your child and all the diamonds in all the world would mean nothing if you didn't know that he would walk through fire for you.

I have no religious faith so I'm not too sure quite who I am directing this at but, once again, to whoever or whatever is up there looking down at little old me - thank you for all that's good in my life x

Training Plan sorted

Just thought I would have a browse for a training plan, guess what? . . . running, lots and lots of running!, making me feel quite sick just looking at it but I guess it needs to be done and fast. I think we'll go with the intermediate one from the Running Bug - as good as any I think!

Need a bit of professional help too I think so in the new year we are going to look to join a gym, I'm hoping it might help just a bit. Anyway, on tick over now until 1st January when we will be off.

Wide awake!

Well it's gone 1am and I'm wide awake and I have to work in the morning - don't think I shall be starting too early!.

The reason I'm wide awake? well on 24th December - I'm so hot!, it's crazy . . . that's not all, I have so much buzzing around in my head, so much to get done when I finish at 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon so that we are ready for everyone to arrive on Christmas day.

And then, there's after Christmas, there's the question of a rather huge sum of money that needs to be raised and then the rather huge distance that my little feet need to start to cover. Sometimes, usually around the early hours it all seems incredibly daunting and I do start to question why I start these things. Wouldn't life just be so much easier if I started a patchwork quilt or knitted a scarf or something, or at least got sponsored for something I do anyway?. Maybe next year that's what I'll do.

Anyway, the panetonne pudding went well today, the laundry is winding down and I have very nearly found the bottom of the ironing basket. The house is reasonably tidy (although it will need another go through later today) and all but the drink is bought. All that remains later on is a bit more ironing to finish off, a triffle to make, veg to peel, house to go through quickly, a run, beds to inflate and bedding to sort then I think I'll be just about there . . . simples!

Just incase I don't manage to fit in another blog before tomorrow

I would like to wish anyone who visit's this blog,

the people who have supported me over the past year and all my friends and family a very, very Happy Christmas x

Just don't get it?

never quite understand why some posts seem to send my stats through the roof (well,by my standards) and others don't?. Also, why nearly every other blog I read has 'thousands' of followers, how does that happen, or am I really that boring. Anyway, incase my new Russian readers have returned today:

Please take a look at my ebook on amazon, it's priced at 1 pound 96 and of the profits I receive 50p will go to Shelter and 50p to the association for international cancer research. I would be so grateful if you could buy my book and support 2 great charities. It's called, surprisingly, Viv's Mountain.
Thank you

You know you are a real runner when ......

...... you pour rain water out of your running shoes when you get home after a run!.

We reluctantly went out at lunch time, we didn't go very far but today was one of those days when going at all was far more important than how far or how fast we went. It was tipping down as we left and as we rounded the bend at the top of the road not only the rain but the wind too hit us fair in the face. Any thoughts of  'fun running' were forgotten, this was serious!.


Don't think I mentioned that I finished my book by Jane and Mike Tomlinson. What an incredible lady, she achieved far more in the few years that she was terminally ill than most of us achieve in a lifetime. Once I get Christmas out of the way I shall buy the next one and hopefully be shamed into dragging myself out of the house.

No improvement!

Well we're three washes in and there is no improvement in the barnet. Usually by now I have come up with another hair style that I can turn it into but this time it appears to be terminal and the only hope is that it will grow fast or someone will buy me a great hat for Christmas!

Phase 1 ......

....... of the:

How to make yourself look your most hideous in the

Marathon Photo's ...... task

 

Is now .... complete

 

From almost the moment I took control of my own hair I have been of the opinion that, so long as your hair is looking good there would be very little that could happen in your day that you couldn't cope with. Now anyone who may have caught a glimpse of me in the last 24 hours will possibly be rolling around the floor laughing now, but stay with me.

Throughout my teenage years and twenties I sported most of the latest hairdo's aka the celeb's of the day, I had it permed within an inch of it's life to create the 'big hair', coloured all the colours of the rainbow, had it layered, feathered, backcombed, blow dried, rough dried, 'Princess Diana'd', Sue Ellen'd and Joan Collins'd - in retrospect the Rod Stewart mullet was a mistake but with the aid of gallons of hairspray and a few spare hours I could usually create some kind of masterpiece to top off the shoulder pads and white stiletto's. I had to stay away from naked flames, in those days, without the aid of hair 'products' we only had hairspray and the accumulation of hundreds of hair sprayed barnets in your average disco must have posed a huge fire risk. Then of course came children and I along with so many mums turned to the humble bob to top off our leggings and baggy, baby sick adorned jumpers. It was quick and easy to keep tamed and looked ok, most of the time. As I've got older I've been searching for something a bit different, something that says 'I'm still here' without saying 'mutton dressed as lamb' it's a tricky knife-edge to walk. Of late I have returned to the trusty bob, there is little that can go wrong with a bob.

Anyway, I had an appointment yesterday at the hairdressers, just a regular 'tidy up'. I had been in the office all day and was in a bit of a rush. Now the mistake I made was that when I sat in the waiting room I didn't pick up my usual 'Hello' magazine, instead I picked up one of those books with hundreds of different hair styles in it and almost immediately stumbled upon a hair do, not far removed from where I was headed anyway - which was simply a shorter version of what I already had but this was a little more up to date so, I have to point out, was the models face but I'm not unreasonable. I knew that this hair do would not remove any years nor would it turn my hair red, as in the picture. I thought, 'now that's nice, I think we'll go for that'. So that's what I requested. The picture was placed on the table in front of me and the cutting began. It all started to go wrong in a split second, I don't think it was a slip, it was intentional but suddenly we were heading somewhere far away from the photo and without the aid of hair extentions there was absolutely no going back. I looked out the corner of my eye at the picture and then back to the mirror and wanted to ask 'how is that - anything like that' those moments where your eye's meet in the mirror became more and more awkward as I was getting a little cross and finding it harder with every snip to put on the 'it's going well' face. I checked the other page wondering if she had misunderstood and was looking at a different photo all together but they were all so far off the wall there was no way we heading towards any of them.

'Why don't we just close the book and carry on with our own thing' ..... was what I so wish I'd had the courage to say, but of course I didn't 'lovely, oh that's great, ah yes, so much better' was what I actually said as I was shown the back and perused what resembled an old fashioned bathing cap making my face resemble a full moon.

'I absolutely am not going to book another appointment' I thought

'Would you like to book your next appointment'

'Oh yes please' I said 'about 6 weeks'

When I got home the hallway was in complete darkness, both Charlie and Andrew walked past me 'hair looks nice mum' 'nice Viv' they said without looking up. I followed them into the illuminated kitchen where they both turned to face me and collapsed into uncontrollable laughter 'What happened?' asked Charlie 'I thought I would go for something different' I said. 'and that's exactly what you got' they laughed together.

Well, it will grow and thankfully I've done my bit in the office for a while so I don't really need to go out any time soon but a new hat for running has never been more vital!.

 



SHELTER ... helping homeless people

Just a little thought ...

I've had a rotten day at work and I moan regularly about the fact that I have to work at all. I complain about the endless piles of washing and ironing and I grumble at my kids for not helping more, there is never a moment when a bed doesn't need changing, a room doesn't need hoovering or a bathroom needs cleaning, but .... tonight, while it's bitterly cold outside, I am sat here in front of a roaring fire in my 'Penguin Onesy' Oh yes, pure class that's me!, the Christmas tree is up and decorated (white lights, free hanging balls and no tinsel) and presents are beginning to appear from the organised people in our house. We are not going to have a Champagne and Caviar type of Christmas but we are looking forward to a feast of some kind, we won't go hungry and we won't be cold.

But ......

At this very moment there are many, many people out there on the streets sleeping rough and I have no idea what keeps them going. They will be cold, hungry and desperate. If you are warm right now and you're not hungry and you're looking forward to a cosy, happy Christmas and you possibly can spare a couple of quid for Shelter then please sponsor us at:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/VivienneKanharn

or you can text:

VIVS54
followed by the amount you want to give, to:
70070


Thank you

Getting on with it

I've been a bit 'blogless' recently, not because I haven't wanted to blog but because a small explosion appears to have gone off in the middle of my life and I just don't seem to have a single second to spare. I'm running around like a headless chicken and getting no-where.

I can't really remember where I got to but I'll start with the book I'm reading. I did mention it when I bought it, Jane and Mike Tomlinson's The Luxury of Time. It's tough reading because it's written just as it is. It really isn't Love Story but then Cancer isn't like Love Story, if you've watched someone battling Cancer then you will know that. Every evening when I read a bit of it I marvel at this amazing woman's courage, that goes for her incredible family too. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at just 26, it wasn't until after the dreadful news that she was not going to survive and had between 2 months and 2 years to live, that she took up marathon running. She ran her first London Marathon, one of 3, in around 5 hours - and she was disappointed with her time!. I have just been reading her description of the Triathlon she completed in 3 and a half hours. I'm just in awe of this lady and feel so pathetic at my rediculous excuses ...... 'it's cold' ... 'it's dark' ... 'it hurts' ... 'I feel sick' it's just so wimpish!.

On Saturday I read that she had run 10 km in around 50 minutes. I decided that on Sunday morning I would 'cover' 10 km - on the machine, it was very windy, there I go again, pathetic!, really out of curiosity to see how long it would take me - an hour and a half, that's how long it took me! but I did it and I was pleased with that. Since then I have been in the office which throws my entire world upside down. Monday was a rest day, well, a 'do all the things I don't get done while I'm running ... day'. Tuesday I was full of good intentions but by the time I had tackled the drive home at rush hour in the freezing fog, fought my way to get in the door through the piles of laundry at various stages in the 'laudry cycle', admired the tiling Andrew had been doing on his day off (It's only taken around 7 years!), tackled dinner and finish off my online Christmas Shopping there was no way I could have run anywhere if my life had depended on it - pathetic again!

I made up my mind that I would absolutely run this lunch time, totally, 100%, without any doubt I would start work ready and be on the machine seconds after I logged off - then I discovered my lunch break was already spoken for and I had to take the coach to work. Anyway, quite unexpectedly, especially to me, there was an odd spurt of energy when I finished work - I think it was frustration at the dreadful day I had suffered, we are struggling with a new system at the moment and suddenly it's as though I'm new again, after nearly 11 years I was just getting the hang of it, now I don't have a clue again. Anyway, I ran, yes, I ran (no walking) 4 miles, It took me very nearly an hour which I guess is a bit like walking but I was running, well loping and that's ok. Tomorrow, well I'm back in the office again - this week is never ending. I don't know what will happen, I would love to run when I get home but I don't know if that will happen, we'll see.

One other thing that happened tonight is that we have been sponsored by someone who read my book. That's amazing and I'm so chuffed. Thank you if it was you, really means a lot.

Need a good day tomorrow

Well unfortunately I didn't go out today. Woke up again with my head thumping, had to go and pick up Madi from work at 8 and so wished I could follow her up the stairs to bed but I had to fire up the computer and work. Head didn't improve until I turned off the computer at the end of the day, still hovering but I'm hopeful it will be gone by tomorrow so I can have a really good day work-wise and running-wise, indoors or out, it doesn't matter - just need to get moving!.

Charity Squares

 

 

Just to let everyone know who bought a square the winning numbers were

 

9 and 22

 

They each win £25.00 worth of Bodyshop Products

 

We didn't manage to sell all the squares but we have raised £40.00 for Shelter

Have to say a big Thank you to everyone who bought squares, it was really appreciated.

 

If anyone would like to order from the Bodyshop here is the link and 10% of any orders will still go to Shelter. If you want order's by Christmas they need to be in by 15th December.

Just email me or message me with any orders

Thank you

 

 

http://viewer.zmags.co.uk/publication/41a60b66#/41a60b66/1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A very Long week

Well I'm pleased to report that Charlie got out of Brixton alive and really didn't seem to have any idea what I was going on about.

On Monday I managed to get out with the coach. I had taken the day off to try and catch up with the mountain of washing and ironing that I had to do, I did manage it, I found the bottom of the ironing basket, but it's overflowing again now, as is the washing pile. No doubt there will come a day when there will only be mine and Andrew's laundry but for now I just have to accept that alongside the small restaurant we run we also manage a medium sized launderette!. Anyway, I didn't mention running, I thought if she doesn't mention it then I won't, but she did so we went. We got round and either Mads was a little slower or I was a little faster because I stayed more or less with her until the last few yards when she sprinted away from me as I hit the wall - no, just the 2 miles!.

Since Monday I've spent a day in the office which meant no running and I brought home a headache which I haven't been able to shift all day. Madi has worked a couple of night shifts and slept all day. We are fast reaching the point where running has to become the priority and everything else has to take a back seat but I'm resisting it for as long as we can.

I think what I really need is to get out on my own, I'm being such a wimp at the moment I make myself very cross. If the headache has gone and the coach is still asleep at lunch time tomorrow then maybe I'll make that my aim. I do have a rather cunning plan for Christmas though, everyone I know that I buy presents for has this year got running shoes - brilliant huh!. Well not quite everyone, I haven't bought my mum or dad or Andrew's mum running shoes although my dad would be game I'm sure but my mother would never forgive me. So basically, I've bought Andrew running shoes - he'll be thrilled, he's always complaining he's cold on the bike, he can't really refuse, how ungrateful would that look?

Around an hour and a half left

You have somewhere around an hour and a half to upload/download (not quite sure which) my ebook Viv's Mountain from Amazon for free. It's the tale of my 'Journey' to and including this year's London Marathon. My hope is that it will make you smile.

If you enjoy it please sponsor me and Madi in our attempt to run next year's Marathon for Shelter.

The link to my ebook is:


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vivs-Mountain-ebook/dp/B009UETRQU/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354487677&sr=1-1

Please get it, read it and review it ..... if you enjoy it - only if you enjoy it! and help get it up the ratings chart.  Thank you

A Mother's Nightmare

At around 4 am I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard the key in the door, safe in the knowledge that Charlie had survived the 'Works Do' and I thought as I peacefully went back to sleep that I could relax just a little until next weekend. How wrong I was, we went shopping for a new mattress for Madi first thing this morning and on our return Charlie announced 'I'm going out in a little while' 'Where are you off to?' I asked, expecting, as most Sunday's he was just going round to his friends who have their own flat. 'I'm off to Brixton Academy to see blahdeblahdeblah's last ever gig'

Horror of horror's, my blood ran cold!

'Is Brixton Academy in Brixton' I asked in that by the way sort of manner us mums master as our kids hit teenage years. The way that we hope suppresses the rising panic in our hearts.
'Yes' he said, like I was some kind of doughnut!
'Is that Brixton, London?' I asked, hoping there might be some lovely little Suffolk village somewhere, Brixton-on-the-Weir, or even on-sea, anywhere but please God not London!
'Yes' he said, getting cross now 'Brixton, London'

Needless to say tonight is going to be a very long one, I'm not sure I have heard anything positive about Brixton for many, many years. I'm sure that good things do happen in Brixton but they don't tend to make the news. I did try as he went out the door to convey my fears without sounding totally hysterical but he was completely oblivious to my concerns.

I will be waiting tonight for the key in the door.

White lights, free hanging balls and a little bit of Christmas Tack!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a bit of tack at Christmas, it makes me smile ..... so long as it's in someone else's house!.

Today was the day we put up the tree and decorations, a little earlier than most years but the coach is desperately trying to drag us into her little 'Christmas Wonderland World'. We have been resisting up until today but we've finally succumbed and, accompanied by the obligatory Christmas music, glass of sherry and a mince pie we set about moving the furniture around to fit in the tree.

Now I do have a few rules, particularly with the tree - only white lights, predominantly one, at most two coloured decorations, no tinsel, and my balls have to be free hanging! by this I mean that I don't like them resting on the branch underneath, I can't bare that, it drives me nuts. Anyway, apart from some ribbon to make some bows, the tree is done. This year we have purchased a piece of ribbon and some tiny pegs with a cardboard 'Christmassy' animal on them, it's up and if I could only find the 'one' card we have so far received I'm sure it will begin to look fantastic.

Each year we have got a little more adventurous with our outside lights, not that they are for anyone else's enjoyment but ours, no-one uses our front door apart from the postlady and the tesco delivery person so we put them up in the back garden. This year we have added 'icicles' - my last words as Andrew left to buy them were 'only white one's please'. He spent a few hours putting them up, managed to fall off the ladder in the process landing rather unfortunately on his face, the bruising is gradually coming out and together with a very red forehead, nose and chin he resembles a sleep deprived elf! Anyway, the switch on arrived and we all assembled in the garden .... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ............ blue - the icicles are blue!!!!!!!. My idea of changing them didn't go down too well it has to be said and it seems I'm going to have to put up with blue icicles, it also seems - and this is another pet hate of mine - that they will be left up once the Christmas season is gone ready for next year, looking at Andrew's face though I don't really feel I can argue!.

Here's hoping we all have a very Merry, Peaceful and Safe Christmas x

Viv's Mountain - Free!

Download for free at Amazon. Starts at around 8 am and ends late tomorrow.

FREE PROMOTION THIS WEEKEND

 

 

 

Saturday and Sunday, 1st and 2nd of December my ebook will be free

Please download it, pass it on to friends and family. If you enjoy it please review it and if you can

please make a donation to Shelter, it doesn't matter how little, it all helps.

 

You will be able to download for free at the weekend here:

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_14?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=viv%27s+mountain&sprefix=viv%27s+mountain%2Caps%2C320

 

Thank you

 

A Relunctant Runner

I woke up rediculously early this morning, no idea why because I was exhausted. I was working by 8 but so tired, I had no intention of running at lunch time but then Madi wanted to go and as she's working most of the rest of the week I thought we probably should. I walked down the drive very reluctantly and we began to run. We did a complete circuit and didn't stop at all. For the first time in a while Madi was leading the way and she was getting further and further ahead. She finished some way ahead of me but I managed to keep her in sight. I think maybe as we begin to get fitter she will get quicker, that's youth for you!.

It was ok though, I felt a lot brighter when I got back, my head had cleared and the world seemed lighter. I was glad we had gone.

A Windy Day!

Woke up this morning to a howling wind and my first thought was 'I'm not running in this' there's only one thing worse than running in the wind and that's running in the wind and the rain!. Andrew managed to manoeuvre the running machine in front of the TV and I ran to A Place in the Sun, home or away. It worked quite well and I managed to do a total of 65 minutes. I walked for nearly 3 minutes, then I ran until 50 minutes, walked for 5 and then ran for another 10. In total I did 6.7 km - just over 4 miles. I know, you can walk faster, I don't care, it really doesn't matter. I have to build up the stamina then surely I will get a little bit quicker!.

I have just finished a couple of hours of ironing and could very easily fall asleep right now, I'm shattered. I have to make a start on the Christmas Shopping though but I'm struggling to get into it, oh, and I'm going to make a cake for Charlie, he's 21 on Tuesday - where in the world did that go?.

I am getting just a little concerned at our fund raising task too. So far we have raised around £330.00 of our £3400.00 total. I haven't even managed to sell all 50 squares of my bodyshop fundraiser and I'm going to have to draw it soon and accept only half the amount I was hoping to raise for Shelter. Since launching my new cover not a single ebook has sold. The trouble is that if you are like me every failure simply confirms what you always thought you knew about yourself and the way other people feel about you. It gets harder and harder to get out there and try because every time you do you simply endorse your worst fears. I need to get beyond the groups of people that I know, but how? how do you do that when you don't have huge funds to invest. I guess that's the question every business grapples with daily. Maybe over Christmas we'll come up with some idea's possibly away from Diss, maybe I'll have a bit more luck somewhere else, or maybe I need something really dramatic to get noticed - I could shave off my hair, walk over burning coals or throw myself off a tall building in one of those flying suits - do you think that might do it? ..... no, me neither!.

Anyway, off to do a bit of baking, this is becoming a bit of a habit!

much more me .... a new cover for my ebook

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=node%3D341689031&field-keywords=viv%27s+mountain

 

only £1.96

 

50p to Shelter, 50p to the Association for International Cancer Research from each ebook sold.

 

Please buy my ebook if you can and help support two brilliant charities - thank you

 

And another thing - #??????

I have also spent several hours trying to work out what the # key on twitter is for and if using it might actually help promote my blog and my ebook.

If anyone has any idea's or can put me out of my misery I would love to hear from you.

Technology is passing me by!

I think I am going ever so slightly mad. I have been searching for days now to find on line ways of promoting my blog in an effort to find a wider audience and hopefully sell some of my ebook's in order to raise more money for Shelter and the Association for International Cancer Research. I'm not sure if it's a 'time of the day' I'm trying to do this thing or if it's an 'age' thing or maybe it's just an 'I'm so stupid' thing but I keep hitting brick walls. If I hit the wall within a few minutes it wouldn't be such an issue but the wall's (yes, many more than just the one) come after hours and hours of trying. I have, a few hours ago - well the length of time it took Manchester City to go out of the Champion's League - ago, stumbled upon a widgety app or a gadget called NetworkedBlogs on facebook. I appear to have set it up and I'm now following 7 blogs?, I also appear to have registered this blog but there are certain things that I could do for which the widgety app/gadgety thing is asking for some permissions - well, do you think I can allow it to do whatever it wants to do? - of course I can't. Think I might have to come back to it tomorrow with a slightly fresher head, or find someone a little more qualified in these technical things who can help.

In the meantime, the book has arrived, Jane Tomlinson's The Luxury of Time, couldn't put it down last night - brilliant!

Got out at lunchtime on a very grey, damp day. The coach came with me and it was good but I was tired, I stopped 2 or 3 times but I got going again. Need to start building up the miles now. If only there was another way, I'm sure I could enjoy this marathon lark!

If you would like to buy my ebook which is the story of my first marathon, there is a link to Amazon on the right hand side of this page. It's only £1.96, Amazon take a percentage of this, of the rest, 50p will go to our charity for next years marathon, Shelter and 50p will go to the Association for International Cancer Research. If you do buy it, when you have read it, I believe you can now lend it to a friend and there are payments for each 'lend' which will go to the 2 charities.  Thank you x

Searching for Inspiration

Yesterday was, a good day. It was a beautiful, sunny Autumn day, the kind of day when I remember Malcolm and wish he could have been here to see it. I managed to get out and run for a short time, felt good once I had got out the door. An old familiar pain came along to say hello again which was .... well, familiar and a little worrying - it's too early!.

I spent the afternoon cooking along with two of my favourites, Andrea Bocelli and John Barry which meant that I ended up cooking in tears! which I guess is better than my cooking being responsible for bringing everyone else to tears, although very often it does. I'm searching at the moment to find some inspiration from somewhere, nothing is flowing, nothing is coming naturally and I'm struggling to find a way through right now. This time last year everything was new and the 'not knowing what was to come' meant it was all a bit funny but this year I know exactly what's coming and I just can't see funny anywhere.

Later on, as we sat infront  of the fire after dinner I had a brainwave, I have ordered, and am eagerly awaiting the arrival of 'The Luxury of Time' by Jane Tomlinson, if this amazing, couragous lady doesn't inspire me then there isn't a hope!

This has been playing on my mind?

I have been giving this a great deal of thought. My ebook, it's not selling quite as well as I had hoped but I think I really need to put in a little more effort to promote it. So far I have sold 8 and somewhere around 80 have been downloaded on my free promotional days.

The sales, I believe, possibly naively, will come. My concern  is this, as I've said 50 pence from the sale of each book will go to Shelter. This is our charity for next year's marathon and between us we have such a huge target so it's really necessary to fund raise for them at every opportunity. It doesn't take long to work out that to date, my ebook has raised £4.00 for Shelter - not great, but it's a start!. I have though for some time felt that the ebook began because of my brother and his short battle with cancer and because of the wonderful people at the hospice where he finally died, Shelter is quite a long way removed from what it's about. For that reason I have decided to donate another 50 pence from the sale of each book to AICR, the Association for International Cancer Research. Cancer is one thing that spans the world and I thought that as my blog has an audience from all over the world it needed to be a charity that included us all, I like the idea of us fighting this disease together and this charity funds innovative research from all around the world.

Until mid-night tonight you can download for free. At some point tomorrow morning it will be available at a new price of £1.90. Of the profit I receive from Amazon, 50 pence will go to Shelter and 50 pence to the Association for International Cancer Research for each book sold. Hopefully one day very soon it will have a new cover too!.

Viv's Mountain is the story of my first marathon experience from the day I won a ballot place, who I ran for and the reason I chose them, the hours I spent pounding the pavement and finally the marathon itself. My hope is that it will move, amuse and inspire and ultimately that it will raise a lot of money for two very special charities.

Please share this link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vivs-Mountain-ebook/dp/B009UETRQU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353183978&sr=1-1

Note to self ........... you're *..!? at fundraising!

Well, it wasn't my greatest hour!

Having arranged over 50 cupcakes in cellophane and ribbon, made a large poster, blown up a dozen balloons, fought with yards of cling-film and written and re-written price-lists to accommodate a long line of differing opinions, spent virtually our entire weekly shopping budget on raffle prizes and baking ingredients, we battled through the rain to get everything in the car and then unload it at the other end where I ran around the hall like a headless chicken for over an hour before it was time to open the doors, then ......... nothing!.

A small trickle of people came in throughout the morning and the people who came were, thankfully very generous. In all we made £168.00 which could have been worse but was in no way reward for the hours of work, the lost two days of my precious holiday, the effort and the worry that had gone into the preperation.

Worst of all I didn't get out and run today, I had two days of house cleaning, washing and ironing to catch up on before it's back to work in the morning so I just couldn't spare the time. It was a beautiful day too and would have been perfect for a run.

Difficult not to take my failure personally but I know I really shouldn't. Possibly I just don't have the personality to motivate masses of people into getting behind me. I just need to find a different way of going about this, a way that is more me.

Also, must add, I don't have a huge number of friends but the one's I do have are absolute gold dust, thank you to all of them.

Here's hoping!

Well, the baking is done and I think the end result has been a little more productive than I had thought it might be. There were only a few bits that ended up in the bin!. Just hoping some people will come along and support Shelter. If you are anywhere near Diss tomorrow please come along and say hello.

Bakeathon - Day one

Well I've been on my feet all day mixing, whisking, greasing and baking, I look like a pillsbury dough boy, I'm floured, salted, sugared and iced, the kitchen looks like a scene from a detective drama just before forensics start their work. No cutlery, saucepan or baking tray is in it's rightful place and dinner didn't happen for us tonight. The nett result of this mayhem?, a couple of trays of rocky road and 47 cupcakes.

I will commence early again tomorrow in an effort to complete my mission though supplies are running low as is my enthusiasm!

We did get out for a quick run up the road between 'batches' it was a welcome break but then I think a couple of rounds with a sumo wrestler would have been a 'welcome break' today.

Please, please buy my ebook, I really don't think I'm going to cook my way to our target!

So Looking Forward to Sunday!

Well it feels as though it's been a good day but I'm not too sure why really. Confidence levels are quite high and again ... not really too sure why. Haven't run today, no major fund raising achievements but feeling quite optomistic and hopeful about Saturday though very nervous, just hoping a few people come. This must be the first week that I am so looking forward to  getting out and running on Sunday, it will be so wonderfully simple and peaceful, I knew I would find a way to make this running business fun!.

I've just placed the order for my 'bakeathon' at the end of the week. Just hope it all goes to plan and I end up with a few moderately edible items that we can sell. Baking, well cooking in general really, isn't quite my thing!.

Viv's Mountain - The ebook

Madi and me got out today at lunch time, we didn't go far but for now just getting out is a victory, was incredibly muddy underfoot but I enjoyed it. I think I have found the key to this running - you do something else alongside it that takes up so much time, so much energy and makes you just a bit nervous, that way the running becomes a piece of cake (well for a couple of miles anyway!).

Slightly amazed, I have just looked at my stats for yesterday and I had 68 page views, I think that's the most since my marathon report. It's very encouraging when I see stats like that so I think I will take this opportunity to plug my ebook. You can buy it for kindle at Amazon, costs £2.32 which I know is a daft price but you have to put it in as dollars and then they convert it!. I'm not sure quite how much of this I will get so for now, at least 50p from each book sold will go to Shelter. I would also like, if I sell a few, to give a donation to the hospice, after all that's where and why this all started. If you want to buy my '5 star' rated book you can do so using this link:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=node%3D341689031&field-keywords=viv%27s+mountain

I know, the cover isn't great, I will get onto the graphics department (Oh, that will be me then) and change it just as soon as I get a spare moment.

Coffee Mornings and Fair Weather Running

Well all seems to be going well in 'Coffee Morning World' I feel it's now coming together and there may actually be a few people in attendance and there may be the odd cake for them to purchase!.

Had a slight nightmare moment when I made my posters, I read it through, read it again and then read it once more then I put it all over facebook, several people shared it and I also put it on here. Just before I was off to bed very late last night I looked to see if anyone had commented on it - they had - my sister in law - who had pointed out that I had put Decmber and not November on the poster. There was a very mad moment when I was scrambling about trying to correct it and change it on all the places I had put it - not sure what it is but my brain just seems to switch off for short, often crucial, moments.

I have got all my recipe's ready for the 'bakeathon' at the end of the week and am about to embark on the second shop of the week, only hope I make a little more than I have actually spent otherwise I might just as well have cut out the middle man and given a donation.

I'm sure, I'm really hoping it will be fine and lots of people come along.

Oh and I managed a whole 50 minutes on the machine today, it was tipping down with rain and I have decided that until after Christmas I'm going to be a fair weather runner.

The Coffee Morning Saga!

Well I think my trek into 'Coffee Morning World' will be my last, give me a gentle little 26 mile lope any day. I've now lost my bag lady so down to just the 4 stalls and at the moment the coach is on the rota to work all day so going well then!.....

Feels a bit like trying to dig a hole in the sand with the tide coming in or plate spinning - again!.

For anyone who would like to come along here are the details:

Coffee Morning

In aid of Shelter

Saturday 10th November

10.30 to 1.30

Bodyshop

Pheonix Cards

Jewellery

Face Painting

Cake Stall

Raffle

Free Entry

Any donations of cakes or raffle prizes would be very gratefully received

A Good Day

Another good run at lunch time, perfect weather, quite chilly but sunny. We got more or less all the way around our circuit, only stopped twice for a car and a pack of tiny dogs that yapped up the road like dry piranhas. Must remember to get an 'ugly mask' for Mads ............ oh, and a pair of scissors, I can't go 26 miles watching that pony-tail swinging from side to side!!!!.

I seem to have a burst of energy (and hope) in the fund-raising department too. Really must drum up a little bit of enthusiasm.

No running tomorrow but looking good for singing, might make it out the door this week.

Well I didn't like it .............

I think this is better??????

I Fancied a Bit of a Change

Hope you like it!

The Running Bug ............ do you think?

Well yesterday was bitterly cold, the wind was howling and the intermittent hail showers were sharp and heavy - seemed like the perfect time to launch my marathon training proper!.

Thankfully by this morning the wind had dropped but it was still cold and it was raining as we left but amazingly I was somewhat excited about it. As I set off with Whitney Houston's 'Run to you' blaring in my ears I can't tell you what a rush of 'joy' filled my heart - yes, I really did just say that. It was like coming home to some place that's safe and analysing this phenomenon I think I do get it. There is something very honest about running, it doesn't kid you or trick you, it doesn't pretend to be something when really it's something else entirely, it just is what it is. Likewise, you can't kid or trick 'it'. You can't make out your good at it when your not, you get out of it exactly what you put in, no more, no less. In that respect it is like being home because these are the only places I can truly be me and that's very liberating.

I have had a few tricky weeks of late, got a lot wrong, mis-read signs, gone down the wrong roads, so for me, this morning, the minute I stepped over the threshold I was a winner. I ran a lot further than I thought I would and I even succeeded with the hairy manoeuvre of stopping mid run without feeling like it was all over. I managed to walk (with purpose - like the book says) until I got my breathe back and take off again and run all the way home. We did manage to find a bit of wind along the way but I greeted it like an old friend, it wasn't going to get me down today.

I got back with a huge sense of achievement, oh I know that it won't always be this way, these days are few and far between but if I keep at it then it will come again. Please 'Will' let this be the start, I'm way ahead of where I was at this time last year so it's something to work on.

Thinking outside the Box

I sadly have to report that following some 2 or 3 years of being completely teetotal, I have for some weeks now succumbed to the odd glass or two over the weekend!.

Being teetotal was great, I discovered clear headed mornings, I could stay awake through the whole of the 10 o'clock news, I could, should I have wanted to, drive anywhere at any time of the day or night and I could feel incredibly superior as I ordered an orange juice and said 'I don't drink'
but God, it was so, damn, boring !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

The other thing that I missed was the enlightening, highly intellectual discussions Andrew and I had, usually quite early on a Friday night. It was a platform for some of our best and, sadly, some of our worst decisions ........................ in fact there were very few 'best' decisions made at this time, they were mainly all 'worst' but every decision was made with hope and the reality that comes with being teetotal is unfortunately missing the rose coloured glasses that shroud everything with an element of hope.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, this is just a glass or two and circumstances are now such that we are unable to make any disastrous, well not too many, decisions. But there we were, just gone 5 pm and I had just remembered Andrew was there and that he is quite happy to help if he can. My problem is this huge, huge fundraising target we have set ourselves. I've been trying over the past few weeks to put together what I'm calling an Autumn Fair in Diss on 10th November. I thought that if I got several of the clever people I'm always hearing about who make amazing things and offer them a stall for just a small percentage of their sales  (so if no-one comes they won't have to pay anything out) they would be biting my hand off. Unfortunately this is not the case and clever people who make things appear to have disappeared without trace, I'm struggling to find many people willing to come. I've written to several local businesses for raffle prizes but again, not a bite. My fear is that four stalls, five or six cakes and a raffle made up of a basket of fruit and a tin of celebrations does not constitute a 'Fair'. Serious consideration is now being made to down-grading to a Coffee Morning.

Unfortunately, me being me, I find it very hard ... very, very hard, not to take this personally, which is ridiculous. You only need to look in the local paper to see the pages and pages of 'charity challenges' that are happening, it seems the whole world is walking, running, cycling, climbing for charity - people are charitied out. I think too that whilst you would struggle to find someone who hasn't been effected by cancer, homelessness is something many of us have the luxury of being able to turn away from and ignore. All of these observations led to us going into out 'thinking outside the box' faze - a second glass of wine was required for this. The Coffee Morning, as it has come to be known, is already committed to but I think we have to come up with some other more inventive ways of raising this money and my ebook could be it. I just have to find ways of promoting it and get loads of people buying it. I've sold 5 so far so £2.50 towards our massive target .............. ok, but it's a start!.

Not going quite to plan

We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. 

We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do.

Samuel Smiles

.................. well I should be a flippin genius then!!!!!!!

Need to get Running!

Now there is something missing in all this marathon preparation - running! there just don't seem to be any daylight hours left in the day to get out and do any running and I'm not at the moment too sure just how this is going to work. Half my day today was taken up driving to Norwich and back this morning so I could only have half an hour for lunch - hardly enough time to tie my shoelaces. I do have tomorrow but Thursday and Friday's lunch times will be spent on the road taking Madi to work. It might have to be a lounge lope tomorrow and then I must, must, must get out on Sunday.

I've ordered a new book!..... this one seems to be a lot about 'enjoying' running, I need to know about that, desperately!.

A Moment

Important today to take a moment to remember my brother. It's two years today since he died. It's gone by so quickly, it still feels like only yesterday.

Always remembering you Malcolm and always missing you

Lots of love

x

Please buy my e-book and help support Shelter

IT'S FREE!

Well it will be at around 8 am tomorrow morning for one day only. Please download my book, if you enjoy it you could always donate to 'Shelter' by texting VIVS54 followed by the amount you would like to donate, to 70070.

If you think it's good you could rate it (if you don't - DON'T!) ...... and please tell everyone you know about it.

Thank you x

Please buy my e-book and help support Shelter

I'M LIVE!!!!!

My very first ebook. For some reason it's priced at £2.32 which just proves that I haven't quite got the hang of all of this yet but I am going to work on it.

For every book sold at least 50p will go to Shelter so please buy my book, it will really help with our fundraising total.

This link will take you straight to it:


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vivs-Mountain-ebook/dp/B009UETRQU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1350929400&sr=1-1

Well this is exciting!

I have just set up a just giving page. There is a new button on this blog which will take you straight there where you can donate. That isn't what's exciting, what is exciting is that you can now text a donation. All you need to do is text VIVS54 followed by the amount you want to donate, to 70070.

Please remember it doesn't matter how little you can afford, it all counts and will soon add up.

Thank you

I'm an Author!

Well it feels like only yesterday that it was this time last week and I had a whole week off. Now, I'm looking at getting back on the wheel again in the morning and I am so not looking forward to it. I have however, done most of what I wanted to do. The 'Autumn Fair' as I have decided to call it is coming together although there's still so much to do. Most importantly though I have got the first part of my blog published on amazon. It's not live yet, it takes up to 12 hours then it should be available to anyone with a kindle. I've priced it at £2.25 which appears to be expensive against all the free one's but I have just spent too much of my life on this to make it free. I also want to give a £0.50p donation for each book sold to 'Shelter'. I really hope that people will get behind this and buy it and share it so that we can make a bit of a dent in our fundraising total.

I will let everyone know as soon as it's available to buy.

Another Milestone

Just popped on here for inspiration for my new venture and seen that I've hit 3000 page views, not too sure how many of those were people looking for 'mountaineering advice' but I'll take it.

Thank you to all the people who have stumbled upon me and come back, hope you'll stay with me a bit longer. I so need to feel that support again. This mountain has turned out to be so much higher than I ever imagined.

The best part about doing a Marathon

I have often said that distance running is like childbirth except that once it starts, you do have a choice!. Starting over again is a bit like childbirth the second time round, there is that moment, a couple of contractions in when you think 'Oh, **!?, I remember this now'. For me, around a mile in as I again gasp for air, it all comes flooding back. This morning though I've had another 'Eureka' moment which has nothing to do with the running. The last three days I have been doing a lot of work for our 'Autumn Fair' and I've been asking, mainly via facebook for help and I've had so much help and again I'm thinking 'I remember that' it's what doing this Marathon is really all about. Not how fast you go or where you come, it's about the charity and what you learn about human nature and human kindness, it's what keeps you going through any challenge. Thanks to everyone who has helped me this week, it's really appreciated.

That old enemy - time!

Well this week is sadly racing by and I still haven't made a start on the main reason I took the week off in the first place!. The 'Autumn Fair' is taking shape though but there's still so much to do. I'm trying to keep the house tidy and get dinner on the go for when everyone gets home in the vain hope that Andrew will say 'it's so much nicer when you're not working, how about you hand your notice in on Monday' .... anyone care to place a bet ..... no, I thought not!.

Did my first 'lounge lope' the other day with Lorraine, much more entertaining. I'm doing half an hour 3 times this week but as I'm not quite a beginner I might push it to 4 times.

So, planned for today, a quick lope, shower, a couple of emails then I will get down to what I've been trying to do all week - more about that later.

Christmas Shopping with the Bodyshop

Here's a way that you can make a start on your Christmas Shopping and help our charity 'Shelter'. Take a look at the Christmas catalogue, there are some fabulous gift idea's. You can email me, send me a message on here or on my facebook page with your orders. Please include an email address or a phone number so that Kerry from The Badyshop can contact you for payment details. 10% of all sales will go towards our sponsorship total for 'Shelter'. You can find the catalogue here:

http://viewer.zmags.co.uk/publication/41a60b66

Thank you x

The search for more time

It quite surprises me just how much gets done when you know you have a whole week off work. You seem to have time inside your head to work out exactly where your time would be better spent, I guess because there is the luxury of knowing there will be a little bit of time left over and that if you work late into the night you can at least take things a bit more slowly the next day even if you do still have to get up early.

So, here I am, two computers running and a list of 'projects' beside me, most of which I'm quite excited about - now that's a different type of Monday morning. Is there anything on the list that might part me from the day job, well, maybe but of course a lot more time would be needed and an awful lot of work but here's hoping!.

Firstly, I do now have a training programme, I also have a training programme to get me to the start of the training programme!. It has yet to be agreed by the coach but I'm sure she will be fine with it. I've actually gone back to the one I used last time around. It has the least amount of running to any other programme I have found but that's not quite the way it sounds. We just don't have the time to be out running nearly every day of the week, we are both working full time, Madi is trying to start her business and I have 5 people to wash, iron, cook and clean up after (I've given up moaning now!). I'm going to get back to the mindset that finishing is enough, I'm a bit late in the day to be going for any records now. The other thing I am 'so' determined to do this time is to enjoy it, there is no doubt in my mind that this will be my last marathon and I want to be at the marathon I've seen on TV for so many years, not the one I was at last year.

The running machine has been folded up and will be reserved for the coldest, snowiest, windiest, wettest days only. I need to get out. I'm going to do a bit of lounge loping too, I used to enjoy my lounge lopes, it was the only time I felt I was really getting anywhere.

Well for now I need to get on with the list and tick a few bits off.

FACT . . . . .

Running outside is better - provided it's not too cold, too hot, raining, windy, icy, foggy, snowing, busy on the roads and the big unfriendly looking dogs are all on leads!

No, seriously, it is better outside and I didn't think I would ever say that. I have been running indoors on the machine for weeks now but this lunchtime following a day and a half of brain curdling benefit calculations we got out into the open and although I didn't make it all the way round, I hit the wall after around 1 and 1/4 miles, it was great and I came home with that clear headiness that I keep reading about and the thing I had been struggling with since yesterday finally worked - JOY!.

Feeling a lot lighter now, brighter, happier and a lot more positive about the running bit of this challenge. Just have to keep on getting out there now.

Someone else's shoe's

A few weeks ago I was working on the counter at work. As I was leaving a man had arrived asking for help as he was homeless. It was late in the day and there was little that could be done for him until the next morning. I walked out of the office into a fairly chilly, early Autumn evening, knowing that Andrew would be waiting for me in a nice warm car. I wondered, in that moment, just what it would feel like to walk out of the office with absolutely nowhere to go. I wondered which way I would go, left or right. If I had a few pounds in my pocket what would be my priority, a drink, a sandwich or a cheap bottle of wine to help the night pass more quickly!. How long would I walk, how scary would it be as it got dark. It gave me a new sense of perspective. What is it they say about walking a mile in someone else's shoe's?. I think it would do many of us good to do just that once in a while.

If you can, please sponsor us at:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/VivienneKanharn

our page is called 'Madi and Viv's fundraising page'

We are raising money for Shelter who work to alleviate the distress caused by homelessness and bad housing.

Please be the first to Sponsor us

Please sponsor us at:


http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/VivienneKanharn

Our page is called: Madi and Viv's fundraising page

.............................. I promise there will be running tomorrow!

I'm trying . . . really trying

"What distinguishes those of us at the starting line from those of us on the couch is that we learn through running to take what the day gives us, what our body will allow us, and what our will can tolerate."
John Bingham

Well this was the best I could do for tonight and I'm not too sure if it helps or not, think I need an early night and some time to think about it, then I think I need to get out some time soon and run and I need to go to Discord and sing. Hopefully that might shift the dark clouds.

A whole week and still no running!

It's like my feet are glued to the floor, don't think I could run if my life depended on it.

I think there is something in my head telling me that this time, once I start, I can't stop until April next year, so I'm kind of putting off the starting. It's also getting cold now and it's not so easy to don the tights when you're cold. I think I need a good google for motivation tips!

A mention for another great cause

Thought you might be interested in this. A lady at discord has raised an enormous amount of money for Prostate Cancer doing a photography challenge, she has been holding an exhibition at the Forum in Norwich and last night some very brave members of Discord went along for a 'flashmob'. It looks like great fun, just wish I had the courage to have been there:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoyCUwdP4sw


You can sponsor Angie at:

http://www.justgiving.com/Angie-Sharpe10000


And take a look at some of her photos at:

http://www.angelasharpephotography.tumblr.com/

Too many damn balls!

Totally shattered!, I am just not built to take this level of stress. It's just been one of those weeks this week. Mads is doing a course in Norwich and for some reason the world and his wife had booked the week off so neither Andrew or I were able to get the time off.  Somehow, we have got her there for 2 days and there are only another 2 to go. On top of this the amount we have to raise for Shelter is worrying me. I decided the best way to counter this was to get things moving and try to get off to a really good start. I have been planning a sort of Christmas Fair although I don't really want to call it a Christmas Fair. I have got a Church Hall for a very good price and the Church are having a Christmas Fair a few weeks later so I don't want to 'upstage' them, as it were. But, we will have the Bodyshop, hopefully some jewellery, cards and wrapping paper, diaries and anyone else gifty that I can find, we'll do a raffle, teas and coffee's. With luck it will make us a good profit for Shelter and at least I'll feel that we are on our way. The end result of all of this, I don't think I mentioned work - I have been working too, is that no running has been performed this week which is not very good at all. Hopefully, without the taxi job next week I will be able to get back to it. Just can't wait to get to the weekend.

If anyone has any idea's for my Christmas Craft Fair thingy I would be really grateful, or any other fund raising idea's. If you are local it would be lovely to see you, it's on:

Saturday 10th November

at

Diss Methodist Church

Victoria Road

Diss

10.30 am to 3.30 pm

Free entry

You can sponsor us by the way, same address as before:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/VivienneKanharn

Our page is called: Madi and Viv's fundraising page

Thank you

Under Starters Orders . . . .

I thought that today, the eve of what would have been Malcolm's birthday was a good day to make our announcement.

I will be RUNNING in next years London Marathon and I will be RUNNING with my lovely Madi, at least we'll be starting together, youth may well speed her to the finish a little faster than me!.

We are both RUNNING for Shelter, the housing and homelessness charity. It's a long way from hospices I know but having thought about it for a long while and talked to Malcolm's wife we have decided that so long as someone was benefiting from our efforts then Malcolm would have been happy.

Because we have a charity place this year we have to raise quite a lot of money. Of course we would be incredibly grateful if you could sponsor us, and you can do this at:

http://virginmoneygiving.com/VivienneKanharn

Our page is called 'Madi and Viv's fundraising page'

We already have plans for some events which it would be great if you could support but more of that later. If you have any fantastic ways to raise money I would be very pleased to hear them.

Happy Birthday Malcolm

Aquaruis - 27.9.12

"Don't sign any contracts or verbal agreements"

Too damn late!!!!!......



I am so indecisive these days and I worry every time I put my name to anything. Madi and I have signed up to a charity to run the London Marathon and I have worried about it from the second we posted it in the box.

I'm hoping tomorrow it will be finalised and I can tell everyone about it and make a start at raising the rather large sum we have to raise. I'm going to be positive about it because we must be now. I'm sure we can do it. I shall be back tomorrow with an announcement.

A Little Better Today

A 30 minute Lope!

FACT - There is nothing in the world more exhausting ......

................ than spending 40 something hours a week doing something that you find dull and uninspiring - and I proved that tonight, beyond all reasonable doubt. It saps every ounce of energy and extinguishes any spark that you ever had.

I came home tonight determined that I would run, I wanted to do one of the 32 minute programmes on the machine but there was just nothing there, I was drowning in dullness and I seemed to have forgotten how to run. I forced myself to complete the 32 minutes with a combination of waddling, loping, staggering, walking and, in very short bursts, running, I barely managed 3 km.

Tomorrow I will be back on top, lets hope, it can't possibly get any worse!.

In need of a new job!

Really cross this evening. I had been full of good intentions all day and was going to come in and get on the machine and do a good 5 km. Unfortunately by the time I had got in and got just a bit straight it was far too late and I was far too shattered and it didn't happen.  Think I'm going to need to enlist a little help for tomorrow night and make it clear that I'm not doing anything until I have run. I need a job that allows me to run in the mornings, what are the chances do you think?.

Silly dreams

Well I've just spent an incredibly silly half hour adding nearly five hundred poundsworth of very flashy looking running gear to my 'Zalando' wish list, not too sure why but it was good to dream for a little while!.

No running today, rest day following my great run yesterday but it was just as well. Going into the office is rather like letting off a small explosion in the middle of my life, everything flies upwards and outwards and I have no idea of where it might all land. 'Tidying and keeping up with the washing' time is taken up with hair and make-up, 'running' time is replaced by getting there and back and 'keeping up with everyone else' time is taken up with trawling through my wardrobe trying to find something to wear. Days one and two are just about ok but day three is always a nightmare, I end up torn between the Penguin onesy, a pair of running tights or a re-run of days one and two!. Roll on Thursday when I can take control once again and maybe, just maybe I will have won the lottery, sold my book to a publisher or found another job before the next time, here's dreaming!.....

Going quite well

Well another good Sunday run, it wasn't looking good when I started and I nearly stopped at 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes and every other minute that followed but I managed to complete 10 kilometres and I did it in just under an hour and a half. I did walk for 5 minutes to start and then when I got to the 70 minute running mark I walked again to 9 kilometres then I ran for the last kilometre. I do feel as though I'm going forward but as usual it doesn't get any easier. If we are to do the Norwich half marathon then I do need to speed up just a little, if you don't get to the half way mark by an hour and a half then they disqualify you. Need to do my 5 minute warm up before I start so I can really see where I'm at.

This week will be quite tricky again, I'm just getting going and I have to go to the office for 3 days, tomorrow's ok, it's a rest day but Tuesday and Wednesday may be difficult, might have to give discord a miss again.

Super Sunday

Quite out of the blue, without any warning I had a brilliant run on Sunday morning. It was on the machine, we were off out in the afternoon so we didn't have time to go out.

I managed a whole hour's running, in total I did 65 minutes, I walked the first 5, I did the next 59 at 7.0 km an hour and the last minute at 8.0 km an hour (sprint finish). I went 7.4 km - I know, you could all walk faster, well that's great, I'm really happy for you. For me, on Sunday, this was massive. For the last few months I haven't been able to run . . . lope/waddle for more than 5 minutes but everything seemed to come together on Sunday and it all worked.

I've had a rest day today but I shall be waddling off again tomorrow determined to build on the progress I'm making.

No easier - the problems just change!

One year ago this last weekend we took Charlie off to Leeds. It was a difficult weekend but so full of hope, I was so excited for him. As I've got older I have so wished that I'de gone to university, of course it would have been impossible because I wasn't too bright but I wish I had been and I'de been able to get a degree. There's so much that I wish I knew, books I wish I'de read and friends I wish I'de made. It wasn't a question of Charlie living out my dreams I just wanted him to have a better start than I had, education wise.

One year on, and it was another difficult weekend, Charlie didn't go back, which is fine, it wasn't for him and that's ok. He's working now and seems happy but I'm not sure it's absolutely right for him. What saddens me as I listen to all the wall to wall 'freshers week' commentary that I never seemed to have noticed before, is that had it been a different place or a different course I'm sure he would have loved it, I can't help feeling a bit responsible for that, we should have been involved more, been a bit more pro-active in his choices. I hope he still has dreams and I hope that we can help him with them, I hope that he'll go on and do something so wonderful that he'll never regret not staying.

It never get's any easier does it . . . this parenting lark!!!!

Well Done

Well done to everyone who ran the Great North Run today, especially any 'back of the pack Penguins'

Stumbling it would seem . . .

. . . . . . . . but I'll carry on!

Follow me by email, facebook or twitter

Keep meaning to say . . .

The stats on my blog seem to be going up every day at the moment, I'm not sure if this is because people are looking me up on purpose and actually reading my blogs or if people are just stumbling across me and leaving without reading a word. It would be lovely to get some feedback from anyone who does stay for a bit. You can comment or send me some much needed advice. You could follow me by email or on facebook or twitter.

Look forward to hearing from you

Early Days as a Penguin

. . . it's going well, I do feel somewhat lighter - of course the sun is shining which helps and there is a very long way to go but for the last three days I have looked forward to running, which is new. This morning I did have a little wobble, I had planned to go out. Confidence was on the floor, it was very, very hot, I still have a cough and I put the running gear on, looked in the mirror and thought 'you look ridiculous' I tried all the excuses I could think of, cough, hot, feel stupid, I'll do it on the machine but Andrew just said very quietly 'I think you need to go out' of course he was right and out we went. My last thought as I went from walk to waddle was 'you're a penguin' instantly the smile came back, it can't not really can it? when you see yourself as a Penguin.

I did around 2 miles in 25 minutes but it really wasn't about how far I went or how fast I went, it was that I went that today made me a winner. I have come home to get on with my normal Sunday routine, endless jobs that I won't get to the end of but it doesn't matter because today I'm already a winner.

Another one of Life's Lesson's Learned

I have tried to write something about this for some time this morning but it just comes out as pathetic, bitter and extremely childish. The details aren't really important, suffice to say that I have learned a very big lesson this weekend about the illusions of ourselves we create to present to the world and, more importantly, the illusions others create of themselves to present to us.

My conclusion is that I am far too trusting - one of my better faults I think!

My name is Viv and I am a Penguin ...

... a fully fledged, waddling Penguin and I am so proud I can't begin to tell you. I went out for the first time today as a Penguin and it felt so good - there are only two differences between loping and waddling as a Penguin, Penguin's have smiles on their faces and in there heads there is acceptance. I have spent the last however many months knowing I was a 'back of the pack runner' but believing I wasn't staying long. I was headed for the kinda-fast-runners and on rare good days I would dream of possibly making the back of the pretty-fast-runners. That's why it was all such hard work. Thank God for John Bingham because now I know that it's ok to be a Penguin in fact it's a lot more fun to be a Penguin.

It was very late last night when I picked up my book but despite the hour I was very soon laughing at his 'Only Four Kinds of Runners' and 'Back-of-the-Pack worries' there was so much enlightenment but also recognition at so much that I have felt, done or thought, the constant race against the clock on marathon day, not because your going for a record, you just want to make it before they take the clock down!. The worry that you will be the one with the ambulance or the police car following you because you're the last runner. Then there is the fear, I thought it was only me that got so scared but no, Penguins from all over the world, all shapes and sizes, rich or poor, good or bad feel the fear, you see when you line up at the start or take off by yourself for a long run you can't hide, there's no 'winging' it, you stand or fall on the strength in your legs and the will in your head. He talks about the uniqueness of a race, where everyone is bonded by their sameness unyet each person totally alone, it doesn't matter what job you do or how much money you have everyone is equal. You can't be anything else but totally honest, any illusions created in our lives are completely useless, you can't hide behind or rely on anyone else. 

Anyway, if you want to join me at the back of the pack with the other penguins or if you're further up the field, even if you don't run but like to laugh, buy this book because it puts a different perspective on everything.

Madi and I had a great run at lunch time in the sunshine, can honestly say I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to the next one.

A bit of a Dilemma

The good news, we do both have a place in next years London Marathon - if we want it. And the bad news, well there isn't any really. I guess what worries me is that we have to pledge to raise £1800.00 each which includes a £100.00 fee which we have to pay now for the place. The charity is Shelter, not exactly a lead on from last year but it's certainly something I could be passionate about and that's what I wanted. I did want to run for something that was close to Malcolm, either cancer or hospices but national. Whatever we run for I will do it in Malcolm's memory, I just need to take a bit of time to consider if he would be ok with it, I've no doubt he would be, I just need to think it through.

Of course we could still get a ballot place and that's the chance you take, if we do we could always defer it to the following year. It's a bit like the queue's in the bank at lunch time, only thing guaranteed is that you'll join the wrong queue!.

Patience is the key

Not a great deal of running being done this week. 'Reading Flu' has taken it's toll, feeling much better today but not enough to put on the 'running tights' and get out there, just managing to do the 'have to' things, what a shame the majority of the 'have to' things are the things I least enjoy.

I have done a lot of reading and I'm working on a training programme for the half marathon in November which at least makes me feel as though I'm doing something in the right direction. I do think that I was possibly trying to increase my distance far too quickly. I'm going to work on hours and minutes of running not miles for a while and add minutes more slowly and see how I get along.

The book is fascinating, I guess it's written from a place where John Bingham has found the joy and I'm still searching which is what makes me question bits of it but there is so much that I identify with, even some of the chapters have similar titles to some of my blogs, the fact that I have felt and been through so much that is the same makes me believe that the outcome should be the same too - I should eventually find the same joy as well if I keep at it. One day, maybe soon, maybe later, it will come and every time I go out I'll be a bit closer to finding it.

Joy of Running

Don't think I mentioned that 'middle child' returned from the Reading Music Festival on Monday. He brought with him some rather nasty flu-like symptoms but, considering the odour that permeated from the bag that returned with him we must all be very grateful that it is 'just a cold'.

Anyway, it is now the following weekend and inevitably Andrew and I have fallen fowl of 'Reading Flu' despite the fact that neither of us have ever been to Reading!. It has meant that running has been off the agenda yesterday and today and judging by the developing cough it may well be off for a few days to come. So I have done the next best thing and started the new book: John "The Penguin" Bingham's, The Courage to Start. I'm so glad that I bought this book because it's written in my language. It's not (so far) about how many miles to run how many times a week, it's very much more about finding the joy in running. It took me to page 53 to realise completely that this book was for me, until then there had been a lot about how wonderful running was and it did seem a lot easier than my own experience.

To start, he waddles (like a penguin), I lope (like a . . . well, like a loper!). He described that couch potato, first run moment that I'm sure we have all had when you set off, certain that you have Kenyan ancestors and 30 seconds later knowing that you haven't and you wonder what on earth is wrong with you. There was the visit to the 'running shoe shop' where the first language is runathon, he even described exactly what I wore the first time I went out to run!. From page 53 though he talks about finding the joy, and it was here that I had a 'light bulb' moment and if you're not a runner stick with me because this applies to all of life. In a nutshell, once we introduce the word 'should' into our running (you can substitute this word for almost anything that you are trying to achieve) you are setting yourself up to fail. Once we start looking around and thinking, or get told that we 'should' be running faster, further, more, less then the joy is lost and failure is inevitable. There is a lot to this and you'll need to read the book to get it all but at the end of the day we have to be honest about who we really are, now, we must accept that and then we work to get closer to the person we want to be.

At this moment, what I need to be asking myself is "how far and how fast 'can' I run" and then "how far and how fast do I 'want' to run" then I have to learn to live with simply narrowing the gap. Doing that will be slow and it will be hard, one day things work and the next day they won't, miles of running on a Sunday could be followed by the hardest mile a couple of days later and that's normal, that's how it works. It should never become a chore though, there are so many things in life that you have to do and running should never become one of them. I'm assuming that if you are getting close to a race then you do need to be a bit harder on yourself but at first, it should be about finding the good.

So, once 'Reading Flu' has run it's course I shall change my mindset and get out because I want to, not because I 'should'.

Running for the over 50's!

That would be me then!!!!

As you may have worked out, when I get into something I read an awful lot about it. Sometimes this is a help, other times it can be a bit of a hindrance but when I'm struggling I google, I search through Amazon and I try to find an answer.  I do now have a library of books about running and I am barraged most days with emails from sites about running that I have subscribed to.

My latest problem has been the 'getting faster' and the 'running further' block that I have encountered of late. I am constantly uplifted by headings such as 'running marathons slowly' or 'marathon running for tortoises' but my balloon is always pretty quickly burst when I read things like "I only run 10 minute miles" or '90 year old runs marathon in 6 hours - but he finished' . . . 10 minute miles, 6 hours! these are sprint times!!!.

My marathon PB is 6 hours 52 minutes, I do 14 minute miles, people walk along side me . . . and keep up!

I decided that maybe I needed to look for a programme that is maybe a little more age appropriate. Maybe that way I can give the 90 year old a run for his money.

I found in the space of an hour or two a website and a very good article. The website talked about 'ageing successfully' which left me with a very large question mark. As the site was really about selling personal trainer services I gleaned little more than that I really liked the rather trendy little outfit the owner of the site (I assume) was wearing. I then moved to the article which started with some rather depressing matters. I think it's pretty obvious to most 'normal' women who pass this particular milestone that all the little people who have until this point been holding up your face, boobs and bum, simultaneously let go as you pin on all those hilarious 'I'm 50' badges,  but what I wasn't aware of was quite what was going on in the back office. Past 50 we begin to loose strength. Muscle mass and muscle strength most noticeably diminishes after we hit 50. The good news is that woman who have been less active over the years will experience less strength loss (I'm guessing because we have less to lose and having not had it we wouldn't miss it anyway!).  There is an increased risk of injury and recovery from said injury will be slow. Osteoporosis is another consideration and doctors have little experience of women over 50 being athletes, in other words they laugh!.

It then goes on to give some really good advice about running for over 50's. The most important part of our training is evidently the social side, we like to train in packs. I don't do this, only really because I can't find anyone either daft enough or slow enough to train with me but I can see the benefits, especially if you are to follow the strength phase of the training programme (critical in women over 50) this entails finding a hill that takes around 4 minutes to get up, after a few weeks you should be able to speak when you get to the top. You then progress to 'skipping', 'bounding' and 'springing' drills on the hill. You do slow 'skipping', 'sideways skipping' and 'cross-over skipping' on the way down. For me, and maybe I get embarrassed very easily but I could only do this in a crowd, laughing a lot.  There were some other exercises that weren't quite so public and could possibly be adapted to fit in my lounge and if I combine them with some I found in my 'Train to be an Olympian' book then I should be able to get a bit stronger and this seems to be key.