How to make yourself look your most hideous in the
Marathon Photo's ...... task
Is now .... complete
From almost the moment I took control of my own hair I have been of the opinion that, so long as your hair is looking good there would be very little that could happen in your day that you couldn't cope with. Now anyone who may have caught a glimpse of me in the last 24 hours will possibly be rolling around the floor laughing now, but stay with me.
Throughout my teenage years and twenties I sported most of the latest hairdo's aka the celeb's of the day, I had it permed within an inch of it's life to create the 'big hair', coloured all the colours of the rainbow, had it layered, feathered, backcombed, blow dried, rough dried, 'Princess Diana'd', Sue Ellen'd and Joan Collins'd - in retrospect the Rod Stewart mullet was a mistake but with the aid of gallons of hairspray and a few spare hours I could usually create some kind of masterpiece to top off the shoulder pads and white stiletto's. I had to stay away from naked flames, in those days, without the aid of hair 'products' we only had hairspray and the accumulation of hundreds of hair sprayed barnets in your average disco must have posed a huge fire risk. Then of course came children and I along with so many mums turned to the humble bob to top off our leggings and baggy, baby sick adorned jumpers. It was quick and easy to keep tamed and looked ok, most of the time. As I've got older I've been searching for something a bit different, something that says 'I'm still here' without saying 'mutton dressed as lamb' it's a tricky knife-edge to walk. Of late I have returned to the trusty bob, there is little that can go wrong with a bob.
Anyway, I had an appointment yesterday at the hairdressers, just a regular 'tidy up'. I had been in the office all day and was in a bit of a rush. Now the mistake I made was that when I sat in the waiting room I didn't pick up my usual 'Hello' magazine, instead I picked up one of those books with hundreds of different hair styles in it and almost immediately stumbled upon a hair do, not far removed from where I was headed anyway - which was simply a shorter version of what I already had but this was a little more up to date so, I have to point out, was the models face but I'm not unreasonable. I knew that this hair do would not remove any years nor would it turn my hair red, as in the picture. I thought, 'now that's nice, I think we'll go for that'. So that's what I requested. The picture was placed on the table in front of me and the cutting began. It all started to go wrong in a split second, I don't think it was a slip, it was intentional but suddenly we were heading somewhere far away from the photo and without the aid of hair extentions there was absolutely no going back. I looked out the corner of my eye at the picture and then back to the mirror and wanted to ask 'how is that - anything like that' those moments where your eye's meet in the mirror became more and more awkward as I was getting a little cross and finding it harder with every snip to put on the 'it's going well' face. I checked the other page wondering if she had misunderstood and was looking at a different photo all together but they were all so far off the wall there was no way we heading towards any of them.
'Why don't we just close the book and carry on with our own thing' ..... was what I so wish I'd had the courage to say, but of course I didn't 'lovely, oh that's great, ah yes, so much better' was what I actually said as I was shown the back and perused what resembled an old fashioned bathing cap making my face resemble a full moon.
'I absolutely am not going to book another appointment' I thought
'Would you like to book your next appointment'
'Oh yes please' I said 'about 6 weeks'
When I got home the hallway was in complete darkness, both Charlie and Andrew walked past me 'hair looks nice mum' 'nice Viv' they said without looking up. I followed them into the illuminated kitchen where they both turned to face me and collapsed into uncontrollable laughter 'What happened?' asked Charlie 'I thought I would go for something different' I said. 'and that's exactly what you got' they laughed together.
Well, it will grow and thankfully I've done my bit in the office for a while so I don't really need to go out any time soon but a new hat for running has never been more vital!.
Throughout my teenage years and twenties I sported most of the latest hairdo's aka the celeb's of the day, I had it permed within an inch of it's life to create the 'big hair', coloured all the colours of the rainbow, had it layered, feathered, backcombed, blow dried, rough dried, 'Princess Diana'd', Sue Ellen'd and Joan Collins'd - in retrospect the Rod Stewart mullet was a mistake but with the aid of gallons of hairspray and a few spare hours I could usually create some kind of masterpiece to top off the shoulder pads and white stiletto's. I had to stay away from naked flames, in those days, without the aid of hair 'products' we only had hairspray and the accumulation of hundreds of hair sprayed barnets in your average disco must have posed a huge fire risk. Then of course came children and I along with so many mums turned to the humble bob to top off our leggings and baggy, baby sick adorned jumpers. It was quick and easy to keep tamed and looked ok, most of the time. As I've got older I've been searching for something a bit different, something that says 'I'm still here' without saying 'mutton dressed as lamb' it's a tricky knife-edge to walk. Of late I have returned to the trusty bob, there is little that can go wrong with a bob.
Anyway, I had an appointment yesterday at the hairdressers, just a regular 'tidy up'. I had been in the office all day and was in a bit of a rush. Now the mistake I made was that when I sat in the waiting room I didn't pick up my usual 'Hello' magazine, instead I picked up one of those books with hundreds of different hair styles in it and almost immediately stumbled upon a hair do, not far removed from where I was headed anyway - which was simply a shorter version of what I already had but this was a little more up to date so, I have to point out, was the models face but I'm not unreasonable. I knew that this hair do would not remove any years nor would it turn my hair red, as in the picture. I thought, 'now that's nice, I think we'll go for that'. So that's what I requested. The picture was placed on the table in front of me and the cutting began. It all started to go wrong in a split second, I don't think it was a slip, it was intentional but suddenly we were heading somewhere far away from the photo and without the aid of hair extentions there was absolutely no going back. I looked out the corner of my eye at the picture and then back to the mirror and wanted to ask 'how is that - anything like that' those moments where your eye's meet in the mirror became more and more awkward as I was getting a little cross and finding it harder with every snip to put on the 'it's going well' face. I checked the other page wondering if she had misunderstood and was looking at a different photo all together but they were all so far off the wall there was no way we heading towards any of them.
'Why don't we just close the book and carry on with our own thing' ..... was what I so wish I'd had the courage to say, but of course I didn't 'lovely, oh that's great, ah yes, so much better' was what I actually said as I was shown the back and perused what resembled an old fashioned bathing cap making my face resemble a full moon.
'I absolutely am not going to book another appointment' I thought
'Would you like to book your next appointment'
'Oh yes please' I said 'about 6 weeks'
When I got home the hallway was in complete darkness, both Charlie and Andrew walked past me 'hair looks nice mum' 'nice Viv' they said without looking up. I followed them into the illuminated kitchen where they both turned to face me and collapsed into uncontrollable laughter 'What happened?' asked Charlie 'I thought I would go for something different' I said. 'and that's exactly what you got' they laughed together.
Well, it will grow and thankfully I've done my bit in the office for a while so I don't really need to go out any time soon but a new hat for running has never been more vital!.
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