Signing Out

Well, I have decided after a great deal of thought that this will be my final post... for now anyway.

I haven't run since the Great North Run and I have, to be honest, loved it. I never tire of waking up on a Sunday morning and thinking "I don't have to go out and run today" I'm not saying never again. If all the stars line up and the wind is in the right direction then it may happen again, but for now I have other things to enjoy and look forward to and it has absolutely nothing to do with mountains.

Of late I have been trying to keep this blog alive but it's all a little disjointed and lacking of any direction so I think it's time to call it a day... for now at least.

I have so enjoyed writing this blog, I haven't had a huge following but it's been nice to keep the people who have supported us up to date with our progress - or lack of!!!

I have discovered a great deal about myself and the world around me through running...

I know that I can achieve more than I ever believed possible but I also know that sometimes the true achievement isn't about the goal you had in mind when you set out on the journey. I've learned that seeing someone cross a line is nowhere near the whole story and that there is no difference between the achievements of the front runners and the one's who finish at the back.

Because of the marathon I now believe in Angels, I know that when you think you can't go on someone will always say or do something that will spur you on and that will reassure me for the rest of my life . I've learned that your truest friends, supporters and champions are not always the people you expect.

I'm learning to let go of the people who have done me harm, there are unfortunately constant reminders of them all around but I'm gradually cutting the pathways so they don't feature so regularly in my vocabulary.

I've learned that I love to write and I would love to do more of that in the future.

I'm so happy that we managed to do something positive in Malcolm's memory. Of course he will always be with us. My medals that are now in frames on the wall are for and because of him and I look at them and smile and that's how everyone should be remembered.

So, to everyone who has stayed with me throughout my 'journey'

Thank you
Viv x

Three Years Ago Today...

I can't believe it's been 3 years today since Malcolm passed away. So much has happened in those years but at the same time it feels like only yesterday.

We don't have a place to remember Malcolm, nowhere we can take flowers or spend a bit of time so I guess for now this has to be the place, I decided to take on the marathon because of Malcolm and because of running I started this blog.

so, I went in search of a quote, and this is what I found:

"When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure"

Remembering you not just today but every day... miss you xx

youtube link for the cake

I thought I would post the youtube video that I used to make the cake, the instructions were really easy to use, just make sure you have plenty of icing and the sticks she uses for the pleating would be useful too:

There are links on the right for a couple of the tins you would need, the tiny ball is available at Lakeland.

The Pregnant Belly Cake Got Made!

So the cake got made and I was somewhat impressed with myself. It had to be viewed from a particular spot and I needed a strategically placed flower... I had vastly underestimated the huge volume of icing that I needed.

Baby Shower was great too. Lovely company, lovely bodyshop lady and Madi had lots of lovely presents for baby. Haven't done a lot today - totally shattered!

VivsMountain is Available on Amazon

Just to let everyone know, my book is finally available on Amazon & you can get free post and packaging on it. There won't be as much profit for the charity because both Lulu and Amazon will be taking a cut but if I manage to sell loads then it would soon add up!

Of course, unlike the authors of the thousands of books released on 'Super Thursday' in time for Christmas, I won't be able to go on the endless chat shows and talk about my book. So I have to rely on you. If you have read it and you enjoyed it please tell people about it, if you could write me a review I would be very grateful.

If you hated it, then don't... please, just quietly forget about it!

Thank you


http://www.amazon.co.uk/VivsMountain-Vivienne-Kanharn/dp/1300751142/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381779801&sr=8-1&keywords=vivsmountain

Taking Stock

Well the running machine has been unfolded and has moved to the middle of the room. It has been turned on and running has been performed on it... but not by me.

The book has sold, ohhhhh..... 5 copies and I have no idea of how I can get it promoted on a budget of... nothing! With the exception of my lovely Madi I have yet to hear from someone who has read all the way to the end.

I have purchased a baking tin for the pregnant belly for the pregnant belly cake but couldn't run to the boobs so the cake could end up looking a bit like... well, like me.

&

I have finally managed to set up hosting for my new blog but can't now think of a thing to write on it.

All going well then...

As luck would have it though the weather is turning, it's going to get a lot colder and wetter towards the end of the week which is much more my kind of running weather... I wouldn't go placing any bets though.

If you would like to buy my book and help the Association for International Cancer Research in the process just click on the Lulu link to the right of this page.

Going Nowhere!

Despite many 'would be a good day for a run' days I haven't actually managed to get out of the door!

When you are training for an event (at whatever level) it does give your life a focus, I think I've talked about this before, and when it's over you do feel a bit lost. Do I keep on running? if I do, why? if I don't then what, because when you are over fifty and you spend hours of the day sitting down there has to be something in order to hold off the 'jelly belly'. The hours I used to spend training have been filled but I have no idea with what. I've looked at doing yoga or palates, zumba or the gym but it all costs money and one class a week just isn't going to crack it!

I think for now I shall take a few more weeks to decide and just see how I'm feeling, maybe as the pounds begin to pile on I will be prized out of the door?

To be getting on with, I have a little project, I'm attempting to make a 'pregnant belly cake' for Madi's baby shower... just how much do fancy cake tins cost????? I'm trying to improvise but struggling to find anything that might do, at this moment in time the belly and boobs may end up flat on top!!!!.... I shall, if it's anything like ok, post a photo when it's done.

I have for now given up with transferring my blog. I have come to the conclusion that there is an age when the internet, possibly computers in general, overtakes you. I guess that age is different for everyone but for me it's fifty five and a half! I used to think I could work out most things online but this was just beyond me. I managed to find a different host last weekend that did appear to be a lot clearer. I signed up for what I thought was one month and they swiped 2 years worth of payments from our account... panic!!!!  we have yet to check but I believe they have thankfully refunded the money which is great but still leaves me 'host-less'. Following a few angry/frustrated tears Andrew said to me 'just write - you've been so tangled up trying to work all this out that you're not doing what you set out doing only because you loved doing it - writing' of course he's right, he's always right. For a man who's always right I can't work out how we get so much wrong! Anyway, for now I'm going to keep writing and hopefully the rest will work itself out.

Web Hosting for Idiots!

Well there's another one I can chalk up on my list of 'Things I was not born to be' ...

Web hosting manager... who'd have thought!

I must admit that when I embarked on this new 'episode' I wasn't aware I needed a degree in web hosting. From the endless forums, blogs and wedsites I was led to believe that anyone could do it, so long as you had some basic computer skills... that would be everyone apart from me!

I have spent the last week or so going round in circles and having some crazy conversations with 'support' who must be so pleased that I have at last, given up. They can open up their emails from now on without fear of another rambling, ever so slightly hysterical 'support ticket' from the only idiot incapable of working out the step by step instructions.

I've been trying to take my blog to 'the next level' make it look more professional and evidently this can only be achieved by self-hosting. I've read everything I can possibly find on the subject but whatever I have read must have missed out the one vital piece of information because it just doesn't work!!!

Once I have had a few counselling sessions and I feel strong enough I will try again... they are not going to get rid of me that easily.

5 Ways to Improve my (next!) Great North Run

I sat and watched the BBC coverage of the Great North Run on iplayer yesterday, wow, what an incredible finish in the men's race! My own finish wasn't quite as exciting although I did appear to pip some poor chap to the finish right at the last minute but I don't think anyone was watching. The photo's are out today, they are only of the finish (thank goodness) of course they are hideous but I don't look too green!

Unfortunately the inevitable has happened and I have registered my interest in next years GNR. I'm just so cross with myself that I can't get this right, it didn't help last night watching ordinary folk being interviewed at the end looking quite normal - I can't believe this is beyond me.

I have made myself a list of things I need to change in order to be successful at this running business. I'm sure there are many other idea's but this is just a start:

• Find a running buddy - this seems to be so important from everything that I've read and listened to.
• Run/Walk shorter distances more often so I can maybe, just maybe run 2'ish miles without too much trouble and maybe, just maybe find that 'runners high' thing they talk about.
• When I run... run - quit loping!!!
• Get it in my head that if there is a next time, I am going to run and, it will hurt. Stop giving myself permission to walk. 
• If I ever do anything like this again, get organised early, book a caravan so we can cook for ourselves.

That will do for now, something to work on. So when is my first run... well, not today!

My Great North Run

...You really have to take a good 24 hours after any endurance activity before you can decide exactly how you felt about it. Once again...

I finished!

My goal had been under 3 hours and I missed it by 3 and a half minutes... but it doesn't matter.

My day began early, the alarm went off at 5.45 am following a less than successful nights sleep. Even when I did fall asleep I dreamt about not being able to get to sleep! Breakfast in the hotel was at 6 but really, who eats breakfast at 6! I got on the coach head to toe 'disposable', I really didn't want to use the baggage coaches - I must have had some kind of premonition about what was to come.

Our coach journey took almost and hour but looking at the weather outside I would have loved it to have taken a lot longer. I chatted to a lovely lady from Wolverhampton, she was supporting her husband who was running. Eventually the inevitable happened and we were emptied onto the pavement. We all followed each other to what we hoped would be the start, watching the skies blacken I invested in a rather fetching 'see through' poncho complete with hood. I managed to get down half a granola bar and some water between the 3 loo queue's that I did - well it was helping get rid of the time. within an hour I couldn't keep myself still I was visibly shaking with the cold. In the end I decided it was time to go to the start, I disposed of my old trousers and bag of food and drink, most of it untouched, the nerves were doing a great job of stemming my appetite for anything.

I stood for several moments staring at the line of runners which went on for ever, I couldn't make out which way they were going or where the start was so again I just followed hoping I was going the right way. We walked and walked and walked past white zones, green zones, purple zones - everything but pink!. I got to a cross-over point and the words of one of my proper running mates from work came into my head 'make sure you're on the left when you start - the right side goes up hill almost immediately' I had worked out by this time which way they were all going by using the fail safe method of checking the way they were facing so I crossed to the other side and again started walking up what I realised was the side of a dual carriageway. As I walked the elite women were introduced, they started, then the mass warm up started and eventually ended and I was still walking, quite fast now ripping off the poncho and disposable jumper as I went and abandoning them at the side of the highway. I thought I've been here since 8 o'clock and I'm going to miss the start - I'll have to start at the back - Oh, I do start at the back!

Finally, we got to the pink zone and slipped in to the penned off area. We then seemed to stand there for ages but the atmosphere was great we chatted jigged about to the music that was playing, did a mass gangnam style dance (whatever that is? I just continued to jig along with most of the other people around me) and waved at the helicopter buzzing overhead. Finally we moved forward but only a short way... it took around 45 minutes to get across the start and off we went. We had only been going a few minutes when someone said that he first woman had just finished - how is that even possible?

We went under quite a few underpasses and each time we did someone shouted 'Ogi ogi ogi' and everyone else shouted back 'oi oi oi'. Despite the heavy rain which joined us as we passed the start line we were an incredibly jolly lot. I could see the Tyne Bridge and was determined I was going to run over it, the memory of staggering over Tower Bridge in the marathon is still very clear. I made it and then went into my power walking/running faze. Now, I had been warned about the hills but coming from Norfolk it's a bit difficult to envisage quite what a real hill looks like. I certainly won't describe Snow Street as uphill from now on. I tried to put my head down and run up the first couple but they were killing. In the end I made it policy that I would run on the downhills. One stands out among many, it was very steep and quite slippy underfoot and I almost completely lost control, I couldn't have stopped if my life depended on it. You'd think it would be easy going downhill but it's quite painful cause your toes slam up against the front of your shoe. Anyway, it was all going ok although the 'oi oi oi's' were getting weaker when the children at the side of the road shouted 'Ogi ogi ogi' endlessly. I was spurred on by a group of male nuns, one wearing a very short skirt and no pants! the one who blasted his vuvuzela right in my ear sent me sprinting off just to get away from him, I do become quite 'noise sensitive' when I've run a long way!

Cue scary music (the dark clouds were already there)... again!

Somewhere around 9/10 miles my old friend arrived and I felt incredibly sick. There is an overpowering urge at this point to drink something flavoured, fresh orange juice, strong coffee etc - at this very moment this awful blue powerzone drink is pressed into your hand... as much as I know it's a mistake I can't help myself, but I know with the first couple of sips that I've made a terrible mistake. The last mile went on for ever, it was endless, the wind was howling off the sea and it started to rain. I passed the finish and staggered to the K's so pleased that I didn't need to seek out the baggage coach, the only thing I wanted was a bucket. Despite the sheet rain people around me were posing for photo's, laughing and telling story's about their race. I just couldn't wait to get to the car which seemed to be parked miles away. Luckily we couldn't get out the car park for nearly 2 hours so I was able to spend the time with my head out the door wondering why on earth I do this to myself - I clearly was not born to run. We must have been almost half way home before I started to feel anything like normal again and my clothes had dried out. We got home late and I slept incredibly well.

This morning? well it's really bugging me now. There are fat people, thin people, tall, short, young, old who run, I see them cross the line and then go off laughing and chatting, why is it beyond me? Jan has already registered an interest for next year, forgetting me I don't think I can put Andrew through it all again. I think I would just like to see if I can find the fun in running before I give it up completely.

Have to say thank you to the wonderful people from Tyneside, they are an incredibly happy bunch of people. Their hospitality was fantastic.

Thanks too to the people who have sponsored me or bought my book. I shall let everyone know how much I raise in total.

Thanks as well to everyone who messaged me with good luck and well done messages, it means so much. Also thanks to my wonderful family, especially Andrew who supports so many of my nutty idea's.

And by the way, yes, I was the only idiot!
if you don't know what I'm talking about take a look at my 'I need to explain' post

You can still sponsor me at:

http://www.justgiving.com/vivsmountain/eurl.axd/ef6245347ef92b45bd94f555b70eeb4b

or buy my book by clicking on the Lulu tab to the right of this post.

Thank you x 

Weather Warning

So, hurricane force winds and rain forecast for Sunday... joy!... guess the shorts, visor and sunglasses won't be needed then, quick wardrobe re-think on the cards.

Just have to say thank you to the people who have sponsored me, with my book sales I'm now up to around £164.00. Thanks too for all the good wishes, it really does mean so much.

If you can, please buy my book, all the profits will go to: 

the Association for International Cancer Research.

just click on the Lulu tab to the right of this post. Thank you x

I Need to Explain...

This could go one of 2 ways...

Either, a huge number of other people will have not had time to read all the instructions early on.

or

I will be the only idiot who didn't read the instructions early on.


You see, to avoid the inconvenience of having to get your name printed on your top the Great North Run has come up with a genius idea and they print it for you on top of your number... I say genius, it would have been had I read the instructions and gone in and amended the default because above my number it just reads...

Mrs 

Be funny if the only other idiot is a man and we end up run/walking together... we'll be Mr & Mrs!!!!

I know, it's really not funny, but I never read instructions, I'm such an idiot!

Thank You

Lovely surprise this morning, I have been sponsored!

I have no idea who by as it was anonymous but I hope whoever you are you will read this because I wanted to say an enormous thank you. I can't tell you just how it spurs you on when you know there are a few people out there supporting you. So to you, and to the people who have bought my book...

Thank you

x

Not Quite as Planned.. again!

As usual it wasn't quite as planned - but it didn't matter! we were a bit late up and as Andrew had other things to do I decided to 'cover' 8 miles outside and 5 miles inside. I left the house with the wobbly legs again - I guess my legs just wobble, I have to accept that. The route I have followed so many times looked beautiful this morning, it is very lovely when the sun is shining. The wind made an appearance when we got to the highest point but it wouldn't have been the same without it. The last 5 miles were... long and I felt drained by the time I had finished but I was over the moon because I had completed the whole 13 miles in 5 minutes short of 3 hours. It was then that I decided to re-check the distance of the outside bit... I was half a mile short - but it really doesn't matter, it really, really doesn't matter!

On the final straight now, 2 more runs this week, maybe a short walk on Friday and then my finale!

My Farewell Tour

Tonight I will map my very last, ever run. Tomorrow really will be my farewell tour. I shall bid farewell to roads that I have struggled along for very nearly two years now. I'm not sad that my 'journey' is over, I'm excited at the time I am going to have. There's so much I need to catch up with, so much to look forward to. I do however, intend to give running one last shot, I'm going to try it without the fixed date in my head when I have to be able to run a ridiculously long way. I'm determined that if there is any joy to be found in this running lark I will give it every opportunity to show itself.

I am a little sad that I haven't been able to raise a lot of money for the Association for International Cancer Research... around £14.00 to date from the sale of just 4 books! I'm sure this amount will grow a little thanks to family once I actually stagger over the line next Sunday. That said, overall, since my 'journey' began along with Jan, we have raised £1,450.00 for Isabel Hospice in Welwyn Garden City, around the same amount for AICR, a little over £800.00 for Break and about £240.00 for Shelter. By the end of next weekend we will have run, between us, officially, just over £91 miles and I can't even begin to think how many more we've run in training... and I've written a book, albeit one few people will read, but who knows, in a hundred years time it might be a classic. That's not bad going for 2 'mature' women, both with full time jobs and families. I think too that it was a very positive way of remembering and paying tribute to our big brother.

Anyway, positive thoughts Viv, 13 miles of head space to fill tomorrow.

Not a Good Day

This morning I left the house with the 'bendy legs'... Sunday's have replaced Wednesday's now as my 'most dreaded day of the week', I wake up with that sense of foreboding. I'm trying to think of it more as a total number of miles that have to be covered over the next 2 weeks and that every step is just a little bit closer to lazy'ish Sunday's again. This morning though, no amount of psychoanalysis was going to make the 13 miles I was going for any easier. I instantly reduced it to 10 miles but that didn't help either. I didn't realise it was windy today until I was a couple of yards up the road, immediately my ears hurt, then my head was pounding, then I felt sick. At just over 1/2 a mile I was walking and just passed the mile mark I was headed home!

What a disaster...

Not too sure what's wrong or if they are all just excuses but I'm not feeling great. One other thing I have learned about this running business is that, passed a certain age, you take the past week out with you on your long runs. I think, if I'm totally honest that at a certain age and if you're me, working full time and having other family responsibilities, running any kind of distance is just not going to be easy.

I think it will be an early night tonight and hopefully the week ahead will be a little more positive.

 

Forgot to Say...

I have sold......  2 books!

I know, there is a very strong message in this and I've got it!

Just What Have I Learned?

Have to be honest, the countdown has begun. Just over 2 weeks and my life as a 'runner' will come to an end and I can't wait! When I started this blog almost 2 years ago I used to start each post by asking what I had learned. I thought that I would look at the past nearly 2 years and put down what I have learned. So here goes:

• I was not put on this earth to run. I may be many things, but I'm not a runner and no amount of 'training' is ever going to make me one.
• I don't enjoy running. I'm only ever freezing cold or boiling hot. It's boring and the more miles you chalk up, the darker the places your brain takes you to.
• Running never gets any easier no matter how much you do it.
• I've lost hours and hours of my life on the road trying to get this right.

I'm not too sure what will happen to this blog, I think it too will end after 15th. I will continue to blog somewhere - I actually enjoy blogging, I love writing. I think though that I will find something that I enjoy to write about. I will have to find something a little bit energetic do as well or I fear I will turn into Mrs Blobby! even the running can't get rid of my stomach at the moment so if I don't do anything I will become huge... I'm considering yoga - we'll see!

Into Double Figures Now

Well I have just mapped 10 miles and it looks like a very long way, even on a tiny map! Have to be confident though, I have actually run, in one hit, double that amount - once. So, it is possible. I have got this sorted now and it's not the distance that scares me so much, it's the time... far too much time to be inside your own head, especially mine.

So, tomorrow - different head on, I'm going for a very long walk, and I might do a bit of running along the way. Somehow that sits better.

I shall report back on how it goes.

The Book Has Arrived!

Well, great excitement this morning - the book arrived and I can't tell you how chuffed I am. It looks great, like a real, proper book. Now to get it out there so that lots of people buy it and we make loads of money for AICR.

If you would like to buy a copy there is a button on the right of this page that will take you straight there or you could just sponsor me using the just giving button. If you can I would be so grateful - Thank you x

Now, mapping 10 miles - going to be a long one tomorrow!