PART TWO

 If this were a mountain.

And if I take the mountain that you hear most about, at least in terms of a challenge

Then I'm talking Mount Kilimanjaro

And if I were climbing Mount Kilimanjaro - 

which I wouldn't be because I don't like heights

                                  

But if I were . . .

Then looking at the maps

I am at Kosovo Camp

And being at Kosovo Camp

                I would be about to begin to ascend to the summit

This, I hope will be the start of my climb to the summit.  I have almost a whole year to reach the goal I originally set myself but that's not to say it will be easier.  Adams reaction when I said I would like to do the marathon again was "Oh no, who will do the washing and ironing at the weekend, it's been chaos here, I never have a clean shirt on a Monday morning"  

I have a lot of catching up to do (not least with the ironing!), an 18th birthday to celebrate, a couple of little battles I need to fight and a few changes to make that should have been made many, many years ago before I got so stuck and so damn bored.  I hope you will continue to check out my progress from time to time.  If I have learned one thing since October it's that we can achieve amazing things if we are passionate enough, I plan to use that not just for the marathon but for everything that's worth getting right.

"Leave it a week". . . . I don't think so!

No, I have definitely been bitten.  I thought when I read about the 'running bug' that it would be about finding running easy, loving every mile, not being able to wait to get out in the wind and the rain but it's not about that at all.  It's more about setting yourself a goal and not stopping until you've achieved it.  My book said, "your aim, when you run your first marathon should be 'to finish' and only that, how ever you get there, how ever long it takes, you just finish, if you start to put conditions on that goal then you set yourself up for disappointment and how can you be disappointed when you have just completed your first marathon".  That was my goal but in my head I wanted to 'run' it, to me the marathon is a run, not a walk, so if I'm absolutely honest, I am just a tiny bit disappointed .  It's ok though because the first one is such a huge learning curve and maybe an 18 month plan was in reality more realistic and maybe I'm actually only part of my way up the mountain.  In a way I'm quite happy about that, it would be a bit sad if this were the end of my little adventure.


There are a huge number of people who have helped me get to this point and I think it's about time that I mentioned them and said thank you.

I have said it before but if it hadn't been for my beautiful Madi I would never have stepped outside the door in my tights!.  I would so love to stand on the start alongside her next year.

My boys, Adam and Charlie, where would I have been without your 'hilariously funny' little quips!

My amazing, long suffering husband who must be so sick of 'my journey' I know he has goals of his own that he has put on hold for me, well it's his turn now (for a couple of months at least - then he'll be back on that bike!).

To Mum and Dad who raised so much money for Jan and I, it was wonderful that you were both able to get to London on Marathon Day - even if you didn't see me go by - next year I'll slow down a bit!.

To everyone who sponsored me, raising money for the hospice in memory of Malcolm was what this was really all about and I will be grateful to you all for ever.  I don't have an exact total but I think it will finally be around £1,400.00 which is fantastic.

Finally, thank you to everyone out there who called me or messaged me with good luck and well done messages, to local people who had a laugh or a few words with us as we went past on our long runs, to all my wonderful friends at discord who offered support.  To everyone who told me that I had inspired them, I can't tell you how that spurred me on and to all the people in London on Sunday who stayed on the streets in the hail to will us round.  It has just amazed me how much you can achieve when you feel so many people routing for you, it is a power all of it's own and it seemed that every time I was ready to give up someone would say something that would keep me going.  My book talked about running angels, people who come along just at the right moment and help you through, well I met so many angels along the way and it has truly restored my faith in human nature, there are far more good guys out there than bad.

"Shoot for the moon, 

Even if you miss it you will land among the stars"

Les Brown 

Marathon Report

Well, 

I finished!

and that's what I set out to do.  It wasn't quite the way I had planned it - I had a couple if 'issues' but I passed the finish line and I did it in time to get a medal.

Last week was supposed to be for resting and eating, the resting bit was a piece of cake it was the eating that I really wasn't very good at.  As I get more nervous I loose my appetite which isn't good for 'carb loading' by Friday I could barely eat at all.  Jan and I went up to London on the train and were staying at the Custom House Hotel - don't stay there, ever!.  The receptionist had a clear attitude problem, the rooms were poky and dreary and the night before the marathon the most carb filled meal we could get was fish and chips and the fish, when it finally arrived turned out to be tandoori flavoured - just what you need the night before you're going to run a marathon.  My head told me this wasn't a good idea and I just ate the few chips that hadn't been affected by the tandoori.  We went back to Jan's room, passing the threshold I clocked the very high ridge that made up the space missing at the bottom of the door and thought, 'that looks dangerous'  moments later I went back to my room to collect my running vest so we could write my name on it.  I made the fatal decision not to put my shoes on, completely forgot the ridge and stubbed my toe as I left!.  I knew the minute I did it that it wasn't good and no amount of hopping and swearing helped at all.  I got up to go to the loo several times in the night and each time the toe was a different shade of blue, by the time my alarm went off  it was black and painful, but only when I walked?????.  We strapped it to the next one and I wedged it in my shoe.  I got down as much porridge as I possibly could - not a lot and set out - alone to catch my train (I had a longer journey).  The dockland light railway was fine, I met several people all heading for the start.  We then played sardines on the train to Blackheath.  I had to stand on one leg knowing that if someone stood on my foot it would be game over.

We all then processed up the road towards blackheath and for once I seemed to have got my timings perfectly worked out.  I changed, got rid of my kit bag, did the loo queue where I met and chatted to a  lovely lady then headed for the start with about 10 minutes to spare.

We walked for ages before we crossed the line and that was it, I was running in the London Marathon.  After all the years of watching on TV and wishing I could be there, I finally was!.

I couldn't believe the support, there were so many people lining the streets the noise was incredible.  I gave up on the music early on because I just couldn't hear it and it was more fun listening the the crowd and the music.  I was going well despite that fact that many people were going past me, but that was ok, I knew I would pass a lot of them later on and I did start passing people fairly soon.  Some people were walking just a mile in.  I passed a lot of people who were in the loo queue too.  We merged with the red start and I nearly tripped over a discarded water bottle looking out for Jan.  I decided to give up on that, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.  Some ways later, we had a lovely moment when she came up behind me - she had done several loo's!.  We had a chat, nearly got taken out by a guide who was using the blind runner he was attached to to ram his way through the crowd and then yell at everyone for not getting out of the way - always one!, and then she speeded off.  I was still going well up until around 12 miles when the nausea arrived.  I think my mistake was that I was using the gels which had worked so well over the cold, grey months of my training but yesterday was really warm and I needed a drink, so I drank but I don't think you are supposed to drink as well with these gels.  I had also started with a very limited store of carbs.  I put my hand up to wipe my face and missed - I panicked, I didn't want to finish with bendy legs and it was already setting in at 12 miles!.  At that point I started to walk and look for a private place where I could be sick.  From that moment on it did become a bit of a nightmare because I felt so ill walking was a struggle, people were streaming passed me now many of them in huge fancy dress!.  I was cross with myself too because I had done the training, I'de run 20 miles - it was the eating and drinking that I seemed to be so bad at.  It was many miles before I was able to start to run again and then it was a run and a walk.  At around 19 miles the blue sky blackened and the heavens opened, I was frozen and soaked, I ran/walked to the sound of balloons being popped and barriers being collected, I just wanted to stay ahead of the people taking up the blue line.  I was passed by vans carrying people who had dropped out and I was so tempted.  I have to say though, there were still, even in the rain, many many people who stayed on the streets to cheer us on, I thought they would have all left but they didn't and that meant so much.

I finally finished in 6 hrs 51 minutes, it felt good to finish but do you know, there were 13 people up there to support me and Jan and only Adam and Emma saw me stagger past.  When we met at the end they thought I had dropped out, I thought they were all a bit miserable, it was only when they saw my medal that they realised I had passed the finish line.

My immediate reaction was 'never again' but this morning I have woken up happy to have finished but feeling this is a job not quite done.  I set out to 'run' a marathon, fitnesswise I know I can do it but I need to get the nutrition and hydration right.  I think Jan is feeling the same way too and Madi has expressed a vague interest too so who knows, I shall leave it a week and then see how I feel.

Why?

In memory of my big brother Malcolm

For all the people who like him, suddenly find their lives turned upside down

For their families and friends who have to walk with them

And for all the amazing people who are blessed with the ability to throw a little lightness into the dark

I hope I do you all proud on Sunday

Viv

x

A little thought that I liked

"The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success"

B. C. Forbes

Get a Grip

For God's sake girl, get a grip!

Feeling totally terrified right now.  At the moment the running seems like the easiest bit, it's the logistics that have turned into a nightmare.  Slight change of plan for tomorrow but on Sunday it's looking like I will have done a marathon before I get to the start.  I assumed when I saw Jan and I were at different starts that one of us would simply have to go one more stop on the tube but Oh no, that would be far too simple.  I have to go to Blackheath and that doesn't even appear to be on a tube line.  I have to get on the Docklands Light Railway for a couple of stops then change to the Jubilee line and then change to a proper train at London Bridge - there is so much scope here for disaster.

I saw Nadia Sawalha and Amanda Mealing on TV this morning, they are both doing it and were both terrified. The most Amanda had done was a half marathon, I felt I needed drip feeding similar stories all day.

Anyway, it's later than I intended, I'm really tired, all this stress is exhausting, and I feel so unprepared so I am going to call it a day and go to bed (I'm sure I have a sore throat coming on too).

Marathon Paranoia

Well I appear to have got a severe bout of Paranoia but having googled for hours tonight I appear to be normal especially for a first timer (first and last!).  Nerves are jangling now, I wake up in the night, if I'm hot then I've got a temperature, if I'm cold I'm going down with something.  I feel sick most of the time but I'm sure - I hope - this is just nerves.  I seem to be acutely aware of every muscle at the moment and every twinge sets me googling frantically.  I had been so worried about the start situation convinced I had filled something in wrong but tonight after hours of googling I have finally discovered that ballot place winners start at blue which is why everyone I know is starting at red!.  I was having nightmares that there would be all these long legged young women in there skimpy tops and shorts, nose clips and long socks . . . and me!.


Last Saturday, following the inevitable surf shopping, sighing and head shaking Andrew eventually got the message and we went 'marathon outfit' shopping.  We couldn't have got our timing any worse and hit Norwich at the same time as many thousand visiting Manchester City fans and another many thousand Norwich City fans.  As usual we were pushed for time, traffic was awful and parking was worse.  We ended up walking from one end of Norwich to the other the net result of this was:  a black top (I wanted white), a white sports bra (slightly too big and white because I bought it first wanting a white top?), a pair of very optimistic size 8 jogging bottoms and a 'running belt' that looks as though it came straight out of the Eastenders props department, market section! - I knew I would end up with a carrier bag, I rarely go anywhere without one why should the marathon be any different.  Anyway, Andrew has managed to change the jogging bottoms for me, the white bra doesn't show under the black top and the size is of no consequence at all - to be honest a hairband with straps would have done.  Not quite sure what I'm going to use to put things in yet but no doubt I'll think of something.

Went out at lunch time to do 3 miles - it was hard, of course it was, if I've learned nothing else I know now that whatever you set out to do it's hard.  The sun came out for me, the wind dropped and it stopped raining.  People waved at me as they went passed.  The lady at the end of the road stopped to wish me luck, I'm beginning to feel the love, there are lots of people willing us on, just hope I don't let them all down!.

A Lucky Day

Must share this one with you . . .

On our way home from Norwich today Andrew - God love him - mentioned that he really should have bought a lottery ticket yesterday because yesterday had been quite a lucky day for him.  Slightly put out (because I didn't remember the sharing of any 'good luck') I asked why he had been so lucky.  "Well" he said "last night when I bought the fish and chips the bloke gave me an extra sausage and when I bought a cheeseburger in the morning I got a rasher of bacon in it as well"

Long Pause . . .

Now not wishing to p*!? on his parade - so to speak - I considered several reactions to this little gem, in the end I decided there were no words and an ironic, slightly mad laugh was about all I could muster.  I tried to think back to when we got married, I had a lot of hopes and dreams then and I guess many of them were possibly a little ridiculous but I don't believe that, for a moment, I would have thought that 25 years later I would consider an unexpected battered sausage and a rasher of bacon to be a 'lucky' day!.

Look out for me . . . 8308

I had a little nervous moment when my registration pack arrived because my number seems very low, I also discovered that I am starting at the Blue start which I always thought was for elite runners and celebrities.  I worried that I had filled something in wrong and I had somehow got mixed up with the elite!.  I had to read pages of the magazine that came with it before I was satisfied that there was a 'Mass' start at all 3 area's.  I was gutted though to discover that Jan is starting at the Red start.  We knew that we would probably separate along the way and that there was little chance of us finishing together but I had hoped we could do the loo queue and all those nervous moments together.  We are even at 2 different tube stops.  Anyway, I have to get over that and get on with it.

This week we acquired a running machine from a neighbour, we've set it up at the end of the lounge looking out of the patio doors, the lounge now looks a total mess but I need to use it and if it's out of sight I fear I won't.  I thought that it would be good to do the shorter, week day runs on the machine because it's not as hard as concrete and it is flat.  I felt that by doing this I could save my knee just a bit.  I had done 5 miles outside this week, I just had another 5 and an 8 to do.  Well, it was fantastic, I started off at 5 miles an hour but it felt slow so I upped it to 6, in the end I was up to 6.7 miles an hour, I even pushed it to 7 miles an hour for a sprint finish.  I had sliced my PB from 66 mins for 5 miles to an amazing 50 minutes.  I went to bed amazed at the difference running outside on the road makes to running on a machine.  The 8 miles produced equally stunning results and I began to worry that I might be held back by people in tu-tu's because I was clearly an 'athlete'  I felt indestructible but wished I had been able to benefit from this since October, I could be challenging for a top spot.

On Friday evening I needed a bit of light reading before bed and decided I would read the 'running machine manual' . . . as you do!.  It was at this point that my bubble burst, the machine measured kilometres not miles!. A few quick calculations confirmed that not only had I not done the miles I needed but those I had done were my slowest - ever!.  It never ceases to amaze me - just how daft I can be.

Anyway, Saturday night saw me mapping 20 miles, it was all or nothing - last chance saloon so to speak!.  Jan decided to go to the gym and go flat out on a bike as she is still struggling to run with her foot.  I left the house very scared, it is scary looking into 20 miles, knowing that by taking on the challenge, failure is just not an option because if you fail having taken it on then there is only one reason for that failure - and that's you, and with 2 weeks to go where would that leave me?.  I decided to think of it as my farewell tour.  I would say goodbye to all the roads that I have been running down over the last few months.

We had a wonderful moment a couple of miles in when 2 large deer crossed the road in front of us, almost within touching distance.  As one darted off into the field the other stood at the side of the road and watched us go by, he had such a calmness about him, it was as though he knew what I was doing and why.  It felt quite spiritual and was somehow very uplifting, something that would never have happened if we'de gone down that road in a car.  I think that moment gifted me a couple of miles it was so lovely.

I had no problems with my knee, in fact no real pain anywhere.  13 miles in I was feeling quite good, from that point the fatigue came in waves.  With three miles to go I was totally exhausted.  I had to go past the front door and do a short circuit before I had finished, it was less than a mile, Andrew went in 'to get the door open' (Manchester United were on the TV!!!).  I got back onto the main road and everything started getting very weird, I saw Andrew cycling towards me, I looked down, looked up again and he had gone - I had seen him so clearly but he wasn't there at all.  As I stopped running at the front of the house I lost the use of my legs, it was as though they were someone else's.  I did the bendy leg walk for a couple of steps but then managed to get back in control of them.  Then I got the mesh in front of my eyes.  I felt absolutely drained, very sick but pleased that I had reached my penultimate goal, just one more left now.

One less thing to worry about

Sports headphones arrived and working well, no need any more for a woolly hat in the sunshine!

3 weeks and counting.

I have to say that this weekend has been a good one, far better than I thought it was going to be.  It started on Friday with a day off which was lovely.  I went to the shops and stocked up on ingredients for my 'bake-athon'  I made a flying visit to the doctors where I discovered that I have done nothing that should stop me running (forgetting of course the pain), I now have some anti inflammatories, advice to stop running as much as possible (3 weeks to go ??????) and the suggestion of a visit to a sports physio - unfortunately this won't be happening, I simply can't afford it.  I got some pretty interesting results though when I went for the DIY option and searched 'deep penetration massage' on you tube!

The rest of the day was spent destroying my kitchen whilst attempting to make a few cakes.  I'm not much of a cook and I don't really have all the required baking tins etc. which resulted in endless greasing, flouring, filling, cooking, emptying, washing, drying cycles.  The whole thing took hours and hours and the five rather pathetic cakes that were the result didn't, I felt, reveal the full story but I had done my best.

Saturday morning was the coffee morning that mum and dad hosted.  Jan came over, Michelle and Elly, Malcolm's wife and daughter came along to help and to supply the posh cakes.  Val and Brian who had lived near us in Stansted many years ago were also there as were Tim and Jenny, Malcolm and Michelle's good friends, also from Stansted.    There wasn't a huge crowd but they were an incredibly generous group of people and we raised £316.00 for the 2 charities which is brilliant.  After lunch at mum and dad's Jan came back with me and along with Andrew we had a lovely evening infront of the fire, 'carb loading' watching the telly and having a laugh.


This morning the schedule said we should do our second 18 miles, we were yet to do our first!.  It took us some time to get out the door, preparing the bag for the support vehicle takes for ever, there's plain water, lemon water, gels.  Paracetamol and lip balm.  Phones, tissues and wet wipes (the gels are very sticky and I hate sticky fingers!).  Oat bars, jelly babies and jelly beans . . . it goes on and on.  Eventually after several visits to the loo, a stretching master class and a fit of the giggles over which hats to wear we finally got out of the door.  At 2 miles the pain kicked in and I started to walk, we were on a tiny county lane and the road is really uneven, I just couldn't find a flat bit to walk on.  Jan waited for me and I had decided that as soon as Andrew arrived with the car (he wasn't on the bike this week - the bag is just too big now!) I was done, I just couldn't go on.  I limped on hoping he wouldn't be long but then I thought I would give it another go, very, very slowly.  I surprised myself because it almost felt easier running slowly rather than walking.  We went the rest of the way walking and running but I had done so much more than I ever expected I would, I couldn't be disappointed.  In the end we did around 10 miles, having done so little all week it seemed daft to push it too much in one hit, I need to be able to get out again this week.  I had proved it was possible to keep running even if it did hurt.  This week should be the start of the taper but I am going to have one more high mileage week and next Sunday get at least 18 miles.  then I shall have a 2 week taper to marathon day.

We rounded off the day by taking a leaf out of the book of all the best runners and we climbed into an iced bath!!!!.  Not the most comfortable experience of my life but it definitely increased my vocal range, I swear I hit top C as I lowered myself in.  It's one of those things that you never really know if it worked because there is no way of knowing just how much worse you would feel if you had gone for the conventional warm shower.  Hopefully it was worthwhile and I shall have a good week.